I lost a good friend last Sunday. Death came at 11:55 AM to a woman who had battled many health issues and whose heart just finally quit. Her many surgeries, her cancer along with diabetes and finally congestive heart complications took her life. Her last few years have been spent in an assisted living complex in another town.

For many years she and I would visit once a week which I kept up after she moved. I filled her in on news from our town and we chatted about the normal things friends talk about. Every Friday was the same except for our topics of conversation. I would drive up the highway to the town where she now lived, stop at the Dairy Queen to pick up a chocolate milkshake and then drive a short way to her building.

I always knocked three short knocks to let her know it was me and then opened her door. She would be sitting in her recliner facing the door and her instant smile was my reward. She would enjoy the milkshake while I told her about my week and asked some of the same questions……“have you had the fire alarm yet?" She lived in dread of the fire alarm which was once a month and could be any time of the day or night. It was always a relief to her when it was over for the month. It’s the little things on a daily basis that become stressful. Most of us have had parents in nursing homes or assisted living complexes and we know the change alone is difficult without annoyances being thrown in.

It was my custom to fix a little “goody bag” for her. I knew she hated to see me leave and so I would pick up little things that I thought she would like and bring with me. I kept the bag by my feet until time to leave and then when I was gone she could see what was in it. It was fun for both of us…….she had a surprise and I had fun all week thinking of things that would make her happy. As I bent down to hug and kiss her goodbye I would place the bag in her lap and it was the same ritual……..including when I got to her door, I always turned back, blew her a kiss and said, “I’ll see you next Friday.” She would smile and blow a kiss back to me.

Friday afternoons will never be the same………….

Essentially Esther