Today would have been my aunt Mary’s 103rd birthday. Calendar dates stick in my mind for some reason. Birth dates, anniversary dates, first day on a new job, day I moved on to another etc; Some dates are happy to remember but others are, of course, very sad.

I have not experienced the birth dates of my elder family or friends but I have witnessed too many of their deaths. Recently, a lifelong friend of my oldest son, George, died of cancer. They had been together from first grade through high school graduation. They both went off to the Military after graduation to serve during the Viet Nam involvement.

Later on, the boys both bought homes in our old neighborhood because they grew up in it and felt at home in it. They lived across the street from one another and every time Becky and I went back to visit we always hooked up with Dennis and Kathy. There were hugs all around and we’d catch up on the news since the last visit.

Dennis was a neat kid. Always smiling, happy……even if he was irked about something it was always followed with a snide remark that was funny. I never saw him “mad.” I don’t remember just how he got started crocheting afghans, whether it was because Kathy had one started and never finished it….or what. This seems probable. At any rate I think she taught him how and he got busy.

I usually took an afghan in progress with me to George’s when we visited so I could crochet while Becky drove…..Dennis always wanted to see what I was working on and at one of the last visits he asked for a pattern I was working on. I mailed it to him and he answered with a phone call to thank me for it. That was so Dennis.

However, the last time to George’s, Dennis was in a recliner and in a lot of pain. He had been X-rayed and the outcome was diagnosed as trouble from an old car accident. The pain never got better and more investigation showed he was in the last stages of a fast moving cancer. Dennis died a few weeks ago. He was never able to start the new afghan.

George was one of the pallbearers as his funeral and will miss him as a brother. I have grown tired of the things people say about a loved one’s passing. “Time heals everything”….no, it doesn’t, “everything happens for good”….no, read the rest of the verse, the worst is, “I know just how you feel”……no one knows how I feel. The list goes on and on. The best thing to do is be quiet. If your loved one wishes to speak…..just listen. A hand on theirs, compassionate eye contact, being still is all they need.

Dennis will be uniquely missed by all of us who loved him. He was a special guy!

Essentially Esther