I have a friend who lost her husband about 9-months ago. Over the years we kept in touch here and there but our visits were confined to phone calls due to the illness and later death of our husbands. After Rocky died in April 2007 she came to visit. Her daughter came with her as we used to work together on the same crew of Driver’s Examiners. I kept up with her mother through her, basically.

Soon after that visit her own husband’s health declined and she was busy taking care of him. After a long illness he died, leaving my friend heartbroken. It was then that Becky and I went to see her and her daughter to express our sympathy and support.

She is the same lady who shared her hobby of card making with me recently. My interest in her cards caused me to call one day asking if she would mind showing me her hobby. I was invited to her home and addicted on the spot.

The good company, someone who understood the pain of losing a mate and the fun of making the cards caused us to set a date to meet again the next week. So that was how we began our one-day-a-week visits to make cards.

When you lose a husband you are swamped with family and friends for a short period but eventually they call or come less and less. It is just natural to think the grieving widow is on top of things by then and they taper off, one by one.

The widow is left to consider what her life will be from there on out. Older women like myself and my friend never consider marriage as an option for many reasons. The most important is that we are still in love with our husbands. I would never have remarried when Warren died but four years my high-school sweetheart and I met for the first time at our 50th class reunion. Having a history together and both widowed, the old feelings we had for one another bloomed.

My friend and I are the same age so we have many of the life experiences which make sense to us but not always to our kids. I love being with younger people but they just don‘t “get it” about the way a senior parent thinks or acts…….however, one day they will, it’s just down the road a few years.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Rocky. You see he is looking at me taking the picture, not the family in the background or Boston Harbor where the boats are. He is focused on me, relaxed, holding my package. When I look at this now it speaks to me. He is waiting for me, still, to come from behind the camera and join him. Our family will be in the background as they are in the picture but in due time we will all be together again.

What a happy time of reunion that will be.

Essentially Esther