I just came back from visiting a friend in an assisted living complex in the next town. This is the third or fourth time I have been to see her and it is interesting. She is the friend I used to have here for lunch before she came to the place she could no longer manage being at home.

My mother was in the local assisted living place here after several severe strokes and later was moved to prime care. As patients go in these places……there are good days and bad. It’s like being shut off from the real world and your “home town” becomes the folks who live up and down your hall and the ones you eat your meals with in the assigned seating of the dining room.

For my mother and my friend as well, it was/is difficult to be forced around other folks when you prefer being alone. Both lived in their own homes many years after being widowed and having “social hour” 24/7 is not normal to them. Mom and my friend enjoyed reading, watching TV, working cross-word puzzles and writing letters etc;

Both hated being drug out into the recreation room for silly things like sitting in a circle and throwing a beach ball back and forth. Mom did enjoy Bingo, however, because the small rewards were plentiful and everyone usually won something. My friend says it’s the most boring thing she ever did and doesn’t go back.

I have certainly had time to think about my future residence in a facility. I have been widowed twice and so I have no helpmate to see me through a long-term illness. Yes, my children would want to but I refuse letting them handle an old woman when they are just getting to the place they can retreat from some of their early demands in life and have found new freedom.

Have you seen an old woman when she gets up in the morning? It isn’t pretty! I give myself a leisurely start in my day. I feed all the outside cats, each to their personal preference, run Mandy out for her morning run, put the coffee on and turn on Headline News. During one of the commercials I pour my coffee and whatever I’m having for breakfast. Most mornings it’s cereal, toast or waffles dropped in the toaster.

I was always a “scratch” cook. Did every thing they do……and suddenly there is just me. Since there is no big reason to cook anymore I eat very simply. One of the best recipes I’ve come up with is Honey Bunches of Oats with strawberries or peaches, about 5 scoops of vanilla ice-cream and enough Very Vanilla Silk Soy Milk to make the cereal go down. Ambrosia of the Gods!! Some days I even eat it for lunch.

Poor Becky doesn’t know what to make of me anymore. I am not the mother she grew up with. I seem to be digressing to the little girl in me and doing what I want rather than what I should do, always did, and don’t want to do now.

I think it’s safe to say that Esther is gone because I’ve just figured out to enjoy life with abandon. Rules are to be broken, calories are a myth, all the food that is supposed to kill us is actually good for us AND I have selected hearing now. I also forgot how to talk.

“Oh, I’d be glad to fix that for you. Here, let me show you how to do it. Yes, you can bring the children over, I’ll keep them while you go shopping. Be the leader of Cub Scouts????Sure!! Well, I guess I could do Bluebirds too if there is no one else. You’re sick and need things from the store??? Sure…..glad to!! Well, maybe I can hem that for you if you’re in a pinch for time.” Yadda, yadda, yadda. I was Esther to the rescue but now my hearing is 95% GONE.

Just wait until I hit the assisted living circuit……I have a few tricks up my sleeve, yes sireeeeeee…………..

Until next time, I am,
Essentially Esther