I realize I am not the only woman to lose her husband on April 24th although my world seemed to stop with Rocky’s last breath. There is a negative side to death, but does it serve any purpose? Does it help to brood or blame or become bitter? It just lengthens the process called grieving.

I think I began grieving the minute I heard Rocky’s doctor say he had colon cancer and it had metastasized to the liver. From that day forward we knew our time together was limited and we fought hard for every day we were given.

I don’t know where I came across the following piece of writing but it is good reading and if you have lived a long time you know it is “right on.” If you have lost a loved one at any time it might help you to read it.

AN AFFIRMATION FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST

I believe there is no denying it: it hurts to lose.
It hurts to lose a cherished relationship with another, or a significant part of one’s own self.
It can hurt to lose that which has united one with the past, or that which has beckoned one into the future.
It is painful to feel diminished or abandoned,
to be left behind or left alone.
Yet I believe there is more to losing than just the hurt and the pain.
For there are other experiences that loss can call forth.
I believe that courage often appears,
however quietly it is expressed,
however easily it goes unnoticed by others:
the courage to be strong enough to surrender,
the fortitude to be firm enough to be flexible,
the bravery to go where one has not gone before.
I believe a time of loss can be a time of learning unlike any other,
and that it can teach some of life’s most valuable lessons.
In the act of losing, there is something to be found.
In the act of letting go, there is something to be grasped.
In the act of saying “goodbye,” there is a “hello” to be heard.
For I believe living with loss is about beginnings as well as endings.
And grieving is a matter of life more than of death.
And growing is a matter of mind and heart and soul more than of body.
And loving is a matter of eternity more than of time.
Finally, I believe in the promising paradoxes of loss:
In the midst of darkness, there can come a great Light.
At the bottom of despair, there can appear a great Hope.
And deep within loneliness, there can dwell a great Love.
I believe these things because others have shown the way---
others who have lost and then have grown through their losing,
others who have suffered and then found new meaning.
So I know I am not alone:
I am accompanied, day after night, night after day.

----James E. Miller

Each of us is on a journey, some near the end, others just beginning. The cycle of life is ever moving on from generation to generation. Our hope is that we will come to the end knowing we have done our best and that we leave a good legacy behind. The time to make sure that happens is today, this hour, this moment. It is by our love that they will know we have been with Jesus.

Until the next time, I am,
Essentially Esther