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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

THE MASTER'S GIFT..... 

To Rocky……..you taught me a lot about patience and patience and patience and patience and patience………you slowed my world down so I could love you more.

There are people in this world who in knowing them, seem to stop the clock when in their presence. I always had that feeling with Rocky…..even in high school. He was so much at ease with himself and others…… the aura of calm was contagious. He was never in a hurry to enter a conversation, be noticed or show off. He saved his energy to compete in sports. He was highly motivated and competitive……but fair.

His eyes were full of mischief and he loved to play a harmless prank on anyone he took a shine to. His favorite thing was saying something in a believable tone and then waiting to see if you were going to figure out it was just nonsense. He enjoyed calling everything by a different name. It seems to be a habit of our older generation and I always enjoyed our silly name-calling. Part of it was because we’d forgotten something or we just didn’t like the original name……..with Rocky is wasn’t an occasional thing…..and I loved the little inside knowledge we had of what we were talking about to each other.

I think his quick looks in my direction are something I will miss. I was always flattered when he noticed something and immediately wanted to share it with me. He was very sensitive to things I liked and took it upon himself to make known little things I would have missed.

For a guy, he was very sentimental. I loved the many cards he bought me on any day of the week. Not just pretty cards but things that matched feelings he had and could never find a way to say. A treasure is a small book he brought home one time, titled, My Soul Mate. There are beautiful writings of love, companionship and gratitude for finding all that in your most precious relationship. He wanted to say all the things he couldn’t say to me for 50 years.

His strength was amazing. Though laced with cancer he continued doing the things around our home that needed doing and continued his weight-lifting. The camaraderie he shared with the younger men at the gym was very special to him. He was humbled when he found how special he was to them. It will be very fitting to have his Memorial at The Firm, where he spent a lot of good days with the guys.

Yesterday, I told you it was our wedding anniversary…..our sixth. I didn’t tell you that I brought Rocky home yesterday on our special day. Before he died we planned to have his ashes in an urn we already had and he would be placed on a piece of furniture in our bedroom with a very special angel to watch over both of us. We both loved Jim Shores artistic Folk Art and he made a bereavement angel with a beautiful inscription on it.

When I am gone to be with him one day, the urn will be placed in my casket and we will be buried together. After being apart so many years, we couldn’t want another separation, no matter how it was. “Always together” are two words that made it possible to face the inevitable short separation we will experience until I go to be with him.

I hope everyone who reads this has loved intensely, loved completely and has the opportunity to show how much love you have to the person or persons who are important in your world. Love, forgiveness and gratitude are three words to set your life upon.

…….as Paul said, “The greatest of these, is love”……………..

Until the next time, I am,
Essentially Esther