It is hard to write about your husband’s illness when nothing can fix it. I watch a man who had the strength of a lion slowly grow weaker each day. This man who came back into my life when I thought I would never see him again……..yet I did.

Somehow we found each other after forty years of silence. The joy of knowing our high school romance never died in either of us……that over those years of separation there was always the hope we would see each other again. And we did.

We carried life experience with us…….forty years of being separated gave us both time to grow, to mature and to realize the really important things in life. God has a way of weaving miracles into our lives…..comedians say “timing is everything”….I think it is that way with God.

We go about our daily lives and there is always a smell, a sound, a look……that brings a person very close to you. Out there in the space of miles and time those thoughts mingle with each other and bring a loved one close. It was that way with Rocky and me……forever in each other’s hearts.

Grown ups call those high school romances puppy love. The idea that it won’t last, it isn’t forever and not to be taken seriously. But if you stop to think……puppy’s are a bundle of love, innocence and loyalty, all of which intensify as they grow into a dog. Our love should be no less.

Love without abandon, realize it is the most treasured gift you can give another and……. you can never give it all away. While our bodies are deteriorating every day our hearts grow larger…..while our abilities decline and fail us….our soul is growing. Death is not the end but a doorway we pass through to the love and understanding we have sought all our life. It is forever and created by love.

I call Rocky my gentle giant. I am not angry because he will be leaving me in the near future…..I am happy for the six years we have had together. I am happy to have known the “grown up” Rocky. He is still the wonderful person I fell in love with again and again.

I am happy I am the one to place him into our Savior’s hand……that I am the one who gets to give him comfort until that hour. I will go on…….but….
………..my heart will be with him…….

Until the next time, I am,
Essentially Esther