Wednesday, April 18, 2007
MY HERO.....
I know many of you are wondering about Rocky and I will try and let you know what we have been going through since I last wrote. Rocky’s condition is taking a toll on him but he still has a lot of fight left in him.
Most men at this stage of cancer would be bedridden and need pain pills around the clock. Rocky has had his cut in half because he gets by better with less. As weak and sick as he is, he still gets up every morning and dresses. It is very difficult for him to even get in and out of bed, or to walk down the hall to the living room but he does.
It was his habit to make the bed every morning because he usually slept an hour later than me. The past few days he hasn’t been able to and so I know how difficult it is for him to do normal things. Still, he struggles to dress and be in the living room except for a morning and afternoon nap.
Our two cats and Mandy have taken up residence wherever he is sleeping. They seem to know he is sick and they stay with him to offer what comfort they can. Our pets know much more about us than we do them, often times.
His eating is very irregular because the many chemicals he has ingested over the past 15 months has ruined his ability to taste. Still, he eats what I fix, for the most part and doesn’t like to be helped. He has dropped three glasses of juice and water but it is easy to clean up and I want him to be independent of help he doesn’t think he needs. We are grateful, though nauseated at times, he has never had the severe vomiting many have with cancer.
The last time we were out, Rocky wanted to go by his gym and tell Craig, his friend and owner of the gym, goodbye. When we came in, Craig was at the front desk and took us into his office. He took one look at Rocky and could see the obvious jaundice. He asked, “What’s going on, Rocky?” and Rocky said, “I just came to take one last look around.” Craig’s eyes filled with tears and that big guy who is twice Rocky’s size, grabbed him up in his huge arms and started crying like a baby.
“God, you’re such a good man, Rocky……this sucks!! You’re just such a good man!!” The two of them cried together a minute and then said their goodbyes. We left for our last time. The gym and the weightlifting young men that Rocky worked out with had always been a lot of fun for Rocky…….they were good times, indeed.
This man who once earned World, National and State APA awards for lifting now was finding it hard to lift a glass to his mouth or to keep his balance. Yesterday Becky and her Lieutenant dropped in for a visit. Lt. Hicks had been a supporter of Rocky at the gym and admired his character and strength. When they stood to say goodbye, Rocky attempted to stand to shake hands. “You don’t need to stand, Rocky,” Lt. Hicks said…..but I said, “It’s all right…..he wants to.” Rocky managed to stand and the men shook hands.
The look that passed between them is something that only men understand…………….
Until the next time, I am,
Essentially Esther
Most men at this stage of cancer would be bedridden and need pain pills around the clock. Rocky has had his cut in half because he gets by better with less. As weak and sick as he is, he still gets up every morning and dresses. It is very difficult for him to even get in and out of bed, or to walk down the hall to the living room but he does.
It was his habit to make the bed every morning because he usually slept an hour later than me. The past few days he hasn’t been able to and so I know how difficult it is for him to do normal things. Still, he struggles to dress and be in the living room except for a morning and afternoon nap.
Our two cats and Mandy have taken up residence wherever he is sleeping. They seem to know he is sick and they stay with him to offer what comfort they can. Our pets know much more about us than we do them, often times.
His eating is very irregular because the many chemicals he has ingested over the past 15 months has ruined his ability to taste. Still, he eats what I fix, for the most part and doesn’t like to be helped. He has dropped three glasses of juice and water but it is easy to clean up and I want him to be independent of help he doesn’t think he needs. We are grateful, though nauseated at times, he has never had the severe vomiting many have with cancer.
The last time we were out, Rocky wanted to go by his gym and tell Craig, his friend and owner of the gym, goodbye. When we came in, Craig was at the front desk and took us into his office. He took one look at Rocky and could see the obvious jaundice. He asked, “What’s going on, Rocky?” and Rocky said, “I just came to take one last look around.” Craig’s eyes filled with tears and that big guy who is twice Rocky’s size, grabbed him up in his huge arms and started crying like a baby.
“God, you’re such a good man, Rocky……this sucks!! You’re just such a good man!!” The two of them cried together a minute and then said their goodbyes. We left for our last time. The gym and the weightlifting young men that Rocky worked out with had always been a lot of fun for Rocky…….they were good times, indeed.
This man who once earned World, National and State APA awards for lifting now was finding it hard to lift a glass to his mouth or to keep his balance. Yesterday Becky and her Lieutenant dropped in for a visit. Lt. Hicks had been a supporter of Rocky at the gym and admired his character and strength. When they stood to say goodbye, Rocky attempted to stand to shake hands. “You don’t need to stand, Rocky,” Lt. Hicks said…..but I said, “It’s all right…..he wants to.” Rocky managed to stand and the men shook hands.
The look that passed between them is something that only men understand…………….
Until the next time, I am,
Essentially Esther
