Tuesday, August 29, 2006
MEMORY, A GIFT.....
In the days of so many people being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s it makes me think how perfectly wonderful our memories are. Stop and think for a brief moment how it would be if we didn’t have memories. For one thing, you wouldn’t remember the suggestion I just made.
My mother was a victim of several life-threatening strokes and dementia made her last years very unstable. At times she would know me and we would have a wonderful visit but other times she looked at me quizzically trying to figure out who I was and why I was talking to her. Her last five and one-half years were spent in our local nursing home.
Most of the time she had good care but on the few occasions she didn’t, I was overcome with guilt and sadness to think her last years had to be like they were. Mom would be trying to tell me something but the words wouldn’t come for her. She knew what she wanted to say but the brain and the mouth didn’t work together. I spent many visits playing charades…….at times mom would become very frustrated and so would I, trying to connect on what she wanted to say.
I remember one visit when mom was telling me she was wakened in the middle of the night by someone in a leotard giving her medications. Of course, it sounded positively preposterous and I said, “Oh, I don’t think so, mom.” She said, “Well I know you don’t think I know what I’m talking about, Esther, but I do” and then she repeated the incident. It was one of mom’s lucid moments I was to find out later.
A week or so after, I mentioned this to the girl who usually took care of mom and she laughed and said, “Well, mom was right!! Some of us girls got off at 1:30 am and put on our leotards and were exercising in the therapy room. It was time for med’s so we didn’t change clothes, we just went back and passed them out to our patients.” Because of times like that, I never knew when mom was on target and when she was off in her own prison of thoughts that didn’t make any sense.
It makes me sad to think how many poor souls were considered crazy and put in mental institutions when they actually had misfires in their brains. With stroke it is very possible to be unable to talk or move while the patient has the ability to hear and reason. Things are just mixed up and the brain is sending out signals to a body that doesn’t respond.
Memories are wonderful in the golden years. The good memories of family and friends are a great comfort…….and even the bad memories have long been good lessons to steer us away from making the same mistakes over and over. A life well lived will produce many pleasurable moments that “stick” in our brains like a Kodak moment…….recalling those times is always pleasant.
I have known a few people who say they don’t remember much about their lives. I think that is so sad……it gives the image of one who is just putting up with life and enduring it rather than “living” it. I believe I have packed three lifetimes into one and I have all the memories to remind me of how fortunate I have been. I may not keep them until death, I do not know, but as long as I have anything I will be grateful for life, for family, for friends …..and the rich trove of memories I have been allowed to keep thus far.
Open your box and see what you’ve saved and savored along the way. Visit it often and enjoy all of those pleasures again and again……they are waiting to be enjoyed each time you stop by.
It is a gift you give yourself.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
My mother was a victim of several life-threatening strokes and dementia made her last years very unstable. At times she would know me and we would have a wonderful visit but other times she looked at me quizzically trying to figure out who I was and why I was talking to her. Her last five and one-half years were spent in our local nursing home.
Most of the time she had good care but on the few occasions she didn’t, I was overcome with guilt and sadness to think her last years had to be like they were. Mom would be trying to tell me something but the words wouldn’t come for her. She knew what she wanted to say but the brain and the mouth didn’t work together. I spent many visits playing charades…….at times mom would become very frustrated and so would I, trying to connect on what she wanted to say.
I remember one visit when mom was telling me she was wakened in the middle of the night by someone in a leotard giving her medications. Of course, it sounded positively preposterous and I said, “Oh, I don’t think so, mom.” She said, “Well I know you don’t think I know what I’m talking about, Esther, but I do” and then she repeated the incident. It was one of mom’s lucid moments I was to find out later.
A week or so after, I mentioned this to the girl who usually took care of mom and she laughed and said, “Well, mom was right!! Some of us girls got off at 1:30 am and put on our leotards and were exercising in the therapy room. It was time for med’s so we didn’t change clothes, we just went back and passed them out to our patients.” Because of times like that, I never knew when mom was on target and when she was off in her own prison of thoughts that didn’t make any sense.
It makes me sad to think how many poor souls were considered crazy and put in mental institutions when they actually had misfires in their brains. With stroke it is very possible to be unable to talk or move while the patient has the ability to hear and reason. Things are just mixed up and the brain is sending out signals to a body that doesn’t respond.
Memories are wonderful in the golden years. The good memories of family and friends are a great comfort…….and even the bad memories have long been good lessons to steer us away from making the same mistakes over and over. A life well lived will produce many pleasurable moments that “stick” in our brains like a Kodak moment…….recalling those times is always pleasant.
I have known a few people who say they don’t remember much about their lives. I think that is so sad……it gives the image of one who is just putting up with life and enduring it rather than “living” it. I believe I have packed three lifetimes into one and I have all the memories to remind me of how fortunate I have been. I may not keep them until death, I do not know, but as long as I have anything I will be grateful for life, for family, for friends …..and the rich trove of memories I have been allowed to keep thus far.
Open your box and see what you’ve saved and savored along the way. Visit it often and enjoy all of those pleasures again and again……they are waiting to be enjoyed each time you stop by.
It is a gift you give yourself.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
