Thursday, November 10, 2005
FEBRUARY....1999
February came in dark and dreary but after a few days the sun came out and warmed us up considerably. In winter the sun is always welcome. I went to a noon luncheon with a few other local classmates to begin plans for our 50th high school reunion. Our class president and secretary live only a town or two away so we gathered enough old grads to begin the task.
I didn’t see Missy around the yard one day and I kept looking for her…….she didn’t even come home when it was time to be shut up in the garage that evening. The next day was the same as was the second evening. The next morning, my two house cats, Morris and Tuffy, woke me making noise as they struggled to get under the blinds to see something. I got up….and sure enough; Missy was sitting on the deck looking spry as ever. She never did tell me where she went or why but she never did that again. Cat owners know the hole they leave in your heart when they disappear without warning.
Jonathan called to tell me that the Cat-scan came out about the same as before, on his Becky’s lungs. Actually it wasn’t good news because the doctors had given her stronger chemo and it should have shrunk the cancer spots. I was very worried about her prognosis but she looked great and was living each day normally. She had a job she loved…….first year out of high school….and her life was good. She and Jonathan were engaged and planned to marry after the cancer was gone. I prayed it would happen for them.
On good days I would sit on the deck with Missy and I spent a lot of time thinking. It had been two years since Bear died and I took inventory of my life after living it alone these two years. I kept feeling like I had a job to do……that I wasn’t made to be out of the harness, so to speak. I did a lot of writing and thinking…..getting to know what I wanted to do and working on some of the projects I had started and not finished because I never had the time.
I finished a hand-made quilt that mom and I had pieced together. I set it together so she could see it and planned to hand quilt it on my visits to the nursing home. I never got to do that because mom died before I threaded the first needle. It became a labor of love…..I wanted to finish that quilt and use it…..some mothers and daughters are not close but we were. I respected her and learned from her. Finishing the quilt had been my priority up to now. It was finished. One day it will be passed on to the family and appreciated anew. I use it because I’ve never owned anything to set on a shelf. To me, the only way to enjoy your treasures is to use them….. but treat them well.
I drove a friend to Springfield to the doctor because she was afraid to drive in traffic. Who else, but a retired Driver Examiner, to answer the call? After her appointment a storm came up so I told her to wait in the building while I went for the car. The wind was unreal……it blew an older woman down on the sidewalk and injured her….. medics came from the building to help. Once I was free of the building I was blown into a parked car. The thought struck me that in this case, a pedestrian hit a car for a change instead of the other way around. I was almost on the brink of being alarmed at the wind gusts when I made it to the car and was then able to pick Opal up. I got out to help her as she was unsteady on her feet anyway. A cold front coming through caused the freak winds according to the weatherman on the evening news.
Later in the month we drove to the Lake of the Ozarks to spend the weekend with our friends, Frank and Betty Bryant. It was always a pleasant “get-a-way” for us. We had been friends many years and were now all retired except Becky……we never went to see them without going to Versailles…..a little town north of them where Mennonites had an old fashioned General Store. It was like going back in time to buy things out of barrels and boxes…..all carefully packaged and marked. Another area we enjoyed was the Outlet Mall on the other side of the lake. It was beautifully designed with trees and flowers….nice architecture and benches to sit along the way. A paradise for serious shoppers.
By the end of February my rash was worse than ever. My feet were cracked and raw and I was absolutely miserable. I tried everything anyone suggested, along with the routine Dr. Laughlin had me on. Nothing worked except the rash…..it was thriving on all of it. I was in a muddle, thinking of what to do to rid myself of this malady. I couldn’t reason that this was psoriasis as Dr. Laughlin insisted…….why would it suddenly appear and go all over my body when with others, it only affected spots here and there? Bear had psoriasis for years and it never went beyond his elbows, and a few places on his scalp.
I know it’s silly to go to a doctor and then not believe in them……but surely there was an answer somewhere that could help me. I was to the place I would undergo anything to be rid of the rash………but first I had to find the way.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
I didn’t see Missy around the yard one day and I kept looking for her…….she didn’t even come home when it was time to be shut up in the garage that evening. The next day was the same as was the second evening. The next morning, my two house cats, Morris and Tuffy, woke me making noise as they struggled to get under the blinds to see something. I got up….and sure enough; Missy was sitting on the deck looking spry as ever. She never did tell me where she went or why but she never did that again. Cat owners know the hole they leave in your heart when they disappear without warning.
Jonathan called to tell me that the Cat-scan came out about the same as before, on his Becky’s lungs. Actually it wasn’t good news because the doctors had given her stronger chemo and it should have shrunk the cancer spots. I was very worried about her prognosis but she looked great and was living each day normally. She had a job she loved…….first year out of high school….and her life was good. She and Jonathan were engaged and planned to marry after the cancer was gone. I prayed it would happen for them.
On good days I would sit on the deck with Missy and I spent a lot of time thinking. It had been two years since Bear died and I took inventory of my life after living it alone these two years. I kept feeling like I had a job to do……that I wasn’t made to be out of the harness, so to speak. I did a lot of writing and thinking…..getting to know what I wanted to do and working on some of the projects I had started and not finished because I never had the time.
I finished a hand-made quilt that mom and I had pieced together. I set it together so she could see it and planned to hand quilt it on my visits to the nursing home. I never got to do that because mom died before I threaded the first needle. It became a labor of love…..I wanted to finish that quilt and use it…..some mothers and daughters are not close but we were. I respected her and learned from her. Finishing the quilt had been my priority up to now. It was finished. One day it will be passed on to the family and appreciated anew. I use it because I’ve never owned anything to set on a shelf. To me, the only way to enjoy your treasures is to use them….. but treat them well.
I drove a friend to Springfield to the doctor because she was afraid to drive in traffic. Who else, but a retired Driver Examiner, to answer the call? After her appointment a storm came up so I told her to wait in the building while I went for the car. The wind was unreal……it blew an older woman down on the sidewalk and injured her….. medics came from the building to help. Once I was free of the building I was blown into a parked car. The thought struck me that in this case, a pedestrian hit a car for a change instead of the other way around. I was almost on the brink of being alarmed at the wind gusts when I made it to the car and was then able to pick Opal up. I got out to help her as she was unsteady on her feet anyway. A cold front coming through caused the freak winds according to the weatherman on the evening news.
Later in the month we drove to the Lake of the Ozarks to spend the weekend with our friends, Frank and Betty Bryant. It was always a pleasant “get-a-way” for us. We had been friends many years and were now all retired except Becky……we never went to see them without going to Versailles…..a little town north of them where Mennonites had an old fashioned General Store. It was like going back in time to buy things out of barrels and boxes…..all carefully packaged and marked. Another area we enjoyed was the Outlet Mall on the other side of the lake. It was beautifully designed with trees and flowers….nice architecture and benches to sit along the way. A paradise for serious shoppers.
By the end of February my rash was worse than ever. My feet were cracked and raw and I was absolutely miserable. I tried everything anyone suggested, along with the routine Dr. Laughlin had me on. Nothing worked except the rash…..it was thriving on all of it. I was in a muddle, thinking of what to do to rid myself of this malady. I couldn’t reason that this was psoriasis as Dr. Laughlin insisted…….why would it suddenly appear and go all over my body when with others, it only affected spots here and there? Bear had psoriasis for years and it never went beyond his elbows, and a few places on his scalp.
I know it’s silly to go to a doctor and then not believe in them……but surely there was an answer somewhere that could help me. I was to the place I would undergo anything to be rid of the rash………but first I had to find the way.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
