Wednesday, September 07, 2005
NOVEMBER FINALLY ENDS....1996
When Bear came out of surgery, I asked Dr. Ferguson what Bear’s chances were. He said although the best thing happened when the clot extracted by itself, Bear’s left side was paralyzed. If he had to probe for it, Bear would have been a vegetable until the cancer took him. I asked how long Bear would have and he said he thought he could get him through Christmas….but he didn’t think he could promise beyond that.
Lt. Emerson expressed his regrets to Becky and me and left to go back to Willow Springs. The hour was late and he would have to work the next day. He told Becky to stay with me and he’d clear it through the office. When Bear was settled and sleeping I realized how tired I was. I had sat in a knot all day and my mind raced from one set of questions to another until I was worn out. The road ahead was scary and un-traveled for both of us.
Becky was concerned for me once Bear was taken care of. We couldn’t get food other than from a canteen but that took care of the immediate need. We were more tired than hungry. We were able to get a room on an upper floor where the hospitality rooms were. We were unprepared for staying away from home but we made due the best we could. Exhaustion finally rendered sleep.
We were awake early and ate in the cafeteria for breakfast. Once we had eaten we went immediately to see about Bear….by now it was 8:30am. Bear was alert and the nurses said he had a “good night” and were encouraged by his recovery. We spent the day in his room or in the ICU waiting room with other families. Becky called our good friend and dentist, Mike Beasley to let him know about Bear and he closed his office down and brought all of the girls over to see him. He has been our family dentist for years but we never expected him to do such a thing. How many dentists do you know that would close an office to see one of his patients? It gave Bear a lift to see Mike and the girls……..it gave them a real blessing to see how well he was accepting his situation.
We stayed until Bear had supper and Dr. Ferguson made “rounds”….then we headed home to get things taken care of so we could come back. We drove home in cold, blustery, foggy drizzle and were so thankful to make it home safe. The long drive and the lost sleep were beginning to tell on both of us. Our pets were glad to see us when we got home…….after I fed them and got a hot shower I went right to bed. The next day was the return trip. When we came into his room, one of the girls from the dentist’s office was visiting with him. He was alert and laughing.
Becky stayed with me that day and night and the next day we came home after his evening meal. Again the weather was so blustery it was hard to keep our van on the road….every thing from thunder, lightening and torrents of rain pelted us all the way. Becky wasn’t able to go back after that…..she needed to get back to work and Bear was over the crisis. He had a lot of company and the medical staff loved having him around…….he was a real inspiration to all of them. He told everyone his “dream” and it had an amazing effect on anyone who listened.
I stayed at the hospital for several more days. Bear had a lot of company and phone calls….and the medical people were beginning to train me to care for him when we came home. The diabetic nurse taught me to give insulin shots as he would need them now. She and the internist decided he could eat anything he wanted as the shot would keep him balanced and the internist said, “I know if I only had a few months to live I would want to eat what I wanted….go ahead and eat all the chocolate cake, pie, candy, whatever……..you deserve it.” He got a big grin and affirmative from Bear.
I was taught how to get him in and out of bed from the wheel-chair……how to do everything that he would need once getting home. They arranged for Hospice to bring in a bed and tray, potty chair, wheel-chair, walker and anything else they could think of in our home. Becky had the key to let them in. We were finally released on November 22nd amid a flurry of last minute meds they sent with me, instructions of all kinds and all of the folks who had cared for us kept coming by to hug and wish us well. Bear was whisked away by the ambulance attendants and I got to the van in the parking area with the stuff we had accumulated and headed home.
The drive back was surreal. The past ten days must have been a dream. This couldn’t be true….that Bear was going to die….my mind kept probing for a way out…a way to make it disappear. Surely I had imagined the whole absurd thing. The drive home was automatic and I barely realized the effort. Jonathan, our grandson, and a friend had built a wheel-chair ramp for us and everything was in place when we arrived. Becky had the bed made up and had some of the furniture taken to the garage to accommodate the hospital bed and wheel-chair. However different, we were at last home. By the time we were settled, had eaten and gone through the routine of meds it was midnight when I dropped onto the couch to sleep. I stayed in the room with Bear in case he woke during the night………
Once we were home, the town of Willow Springs poured out to welcome Bear home and to wish us well. From morning until night we had a flow of visitors and phone calls. The Hospice nurse and the Home Care ladies came twice a week, each, and also a Hospice Chaplain. Each person who came had to hear about Bear’s dream. He insisted on it and each person who heard were moved to tears. Bear was a mighty witness to all who came…….
On the 27th, John, Barbara, L.J. and George arrived for Thanksgiving. Bear’s brother, Don and his wife Sally, arrived the next day after flying in from Walla Walla, Washington. John’s family had to leave the next day and it was sad. John walked up to Bear at the table and stuck out his hand…..Bear shook it and John said, “It’s been a great ride, hasn’t it Bear?”and he looked up to say that it had. They had had a lot of good times together when John was living here and going to college in Bolivar, working in the Bus Ministry in our church and all the rest. Barbara and L.J. hugged him amid their own tears. It was hard for all of us to see their last goodbye.
The day was beautiful and sunny….. Jonathan was out trimming trees and doing chores around for Becky and for us. We got Bear in the wheel-chair and took him out for fresh air and the activity going on. Jonathan, ever the clown, tied a rope to the back of his pick-up and acted like he was going to tie it to the wheel-chair to pull “grampa”…..the guys enjoyed clowning around together. It was their way of getting beyond the inevitable. Don was with Bear every minute spending as much time with him as he could…..being helpful with the wheelchair and any other thing he could think of. At the end of the day, George had his last goodbye with Bear which was equally sad. Bear had given each of the boys a piece of his jewelry. John was given a gold bracelet and George was given a diamond ring. Bear wanted each of them to have something special to remember him by.
The house was at last quiet. All were gone now except for Don and Sally. It was time for the brothers to enjoy their last time together…………..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Lt. Emerson expressed his regrets to Becky and me and left to go back to Willow Springs. The hour was late and he would have to work the next day. He told Becky to stay with me and he’d clear it through the office. When Bear was settled and sleeping I realized how tired I was. I had sat in a knot all day and my mind raced from one set of questions to another until I was worn out. The road ahead was scary and un-traveled for both of us.
Becky was concerned for me once Bear was taken care of. We couldn’t get food other than from a canteen but that took care of the immediate need. We were more tired than hungry. We were able to get a room on an upper floor where the hospitality rooms were. We were unprepared for staying away from home but we made due the best we could. Exhaustion finally rendered sleep.
We were awake early and ate in the cafeteria for breakfast. Once we had eaten we went immediately to see about Bear….by now it was 8:30am. Bear was alert and the nurses said he had a “good night” and were encouraged by his recovery. We spent the day in his room or in the ICU waiting room with other families. Becky called our good friend and dentist, Mike Beasley to let him know about Bear and he closed his office down and brought all of the girls over to see him. He has been our family dentist for years but we never expected him to do such a thing. How many dentists do you know that would close an office to see one of his patients? It gave Bear a lift to see Mike and the girls……..it gave them a real blessing to see how well he was accepting his situation.
We stayed until Bear had supper and Dr. Ferguson made “rounds”….then we headed home to get things taken care of so we could come back. We drove home in cold, blustery, foggy drizzle and were so thankful to make it home safe. The long drive and the lost sleep were beginning to tell on both of us. Our pets were glad to see us when we got home…….after I fed them and got a hot shower I went right to bed. The next day was the return trip. When we came into his room, one of the girls from the dentist’s office was visiting with him. He was alert and laughing.
Becky stayed with me that day and night and the next day we came home after his evening meal. Again the weather was so blustery it was hard to keep our van on the road….every thing from thunder, lightening and torrents of rain pelted us all the way. Becky wasn’t able to go back after that…..she needed to get back to work and Bear was over the crisis. He had a lot of company and the medical staff loved having him around…….he was a real inspiration to all of them. He told everyone his “dream” and it had an amazing effect on anyone who listened.
I stayed at the hospital for several more days. Bear had a lot of company and phone calls….and the medical people were beginning to train me to care for him when we came home. The diabetic nurse taught me to give insulin shots as he would need them now. She and the internist decided he could eat anything he wanted as the shot would keep him balanced and the internist said, “I know if I only had a few months to live I would want to eat what I wanted….go ahead and eat all the chocolate cake, pie, candy, whatever……..you deserve it.” He got a big grin and affirmative from Bear.
I was taught how to get him in and out of bed from the wheel-chair……how to do everything that he would need once getting home. They arranged for Hospice to bring in a bed and tray, potty chair, wheel-chair, walker and anything else they could think of in our home. Becky had the key to let them in. We were finally released on November 22nd amid a flurry of last minute meds they sent with me, instructions of all kinds and all of the folks who had cared for us kept coming by to hug and wish us well. Bear was whisked away by the ambulance attendants and I got to the van in the parking area with the stuff we had accumulated and headed home.
The drive back was surreal. The past ten days must have been a dream. This couldn’t be true….that Bear was going to die….my mind kept probing for a way out…a way to make it disappear. Surely I had imagined the whole absurd thing. The drive home was automatic and I barely realized the effort. Jonathan, our grandson, and a friend had built a wheel-chair ramp for us and everything was in place when we arrived. Becky had the bed made up and had some of the furniture taken to the garage to accommodate the hospital bed and wheel-chair. However different, we were at last home. By the time we were settled, had eaten and gone through the routine of meds it was midnight when I dropped onto the couch to sleep. I stayed in the room with Bear in case he woke during the night………
Once we were home, the town of Willow Springs poured out to welcome Bear home and to wish us well. From morning until night we had a flow of visitors and phone calls. The Hospice nurse and the Home Care ladies came twice a week, each, and also a Hospice Chaplain. Each person who came had to hear about Bear’s dream. He insisted on it and each person who heard were moved to tears. Bear was a mighty witness to all who came…….
On the 27th, John, Barbara, L.J. and George arrived for Thanksgiving. Bear’s brother, Don and his wife Sally, arrived the next day after flying in from Walla Walla, Washington. John’s family had to leave the next day and it was sad. John walked up to Bear at the table and stuck out his hand…..Bear shook it and John said, “It’s been a great ride, hasn’t it Bear?”and he looked up to say that it had. They had had a lot of good times together when John was living here and going to college in Bolivar, working in the Bus Ministry in our church and all the rest. Barbara and L.J. hugged him amid their own tears. It was hard for all of us to see their last goodbye.
The day was beautiful and sunny….. Jonathan was out trimming trees and doing chores around for Becky and for us. We got Bear in the wheel-chair and took him out for fresh air and the activity going on. Jonathan, ever the clown, tied a rope to the back of his pick-up and acted like he was going to tie it to the wheel-chair to pull “grampa”…..the guys enjoyed clowning around together. It was their way of getting beyond the inevitable. Don was with Bear every minute spending as much time with him as he could…..being helpful with the wheelchair and any other thing he could think of. At the end of the day, George had his last goodbye with Bear which was equally sad. Bear had given each of the boys a piece of his jewelry. John was given a gold bracelet and George was given a diamond ring. Bear wanted each of them to have something special to remember him by.
The house was at last quiet. All were gone now except for Don and Sally. It was time for the brothers to enjoy their last time together…………..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
