The rest of the month was spent getting our affairs in order. There is always so much paperwork connected with a death in the family. I had been through it before with mom and dad…..now to finish Bear’s. He had lined me up with an officer at Fort Leonard Wood who took care of legal affairs for active or retired personnel. He had phone numbers and a list of what I needed to do. Bear was an excellent records keeper and as I looked at the list, I thought, “I don’t need an Army lawyer to do this…..I’ll do it myself.”

I decided I was not going to depend on anyone to do what I could take care of. I slept in our house after everyone left and although Becky offered to stay with me at night, I opted to go it alone. I had my mother’s good example to follow after she was widowed. She wasn’t afraid of storms or being alone at night. She was content in the home she and dad had shared for many years. I felt the same comfort in our little home.

And so, the many phone calls, mail outs and trips to different agencies were made and completed by the 24th of February and I called my Supervisor to pick me up for work. I was ready to go back and begin where I left off. It was comforting to be welcomed back by everyone and catch up with what was going on in their lives. At times I would hit a snag and have a tough moment but I had expected that and allowed it to happen…..then got over it.

My big comfort was knowing that Bear was so much better off and as for myself I knew that time would heal the heartache. I was very happy that I had been able to attend to his needs and care for him in our own home…..that was my gift to him and to myself also. I needed to take care of him to be able to handle it all. I didn’t want anyone taking that privilege away from either of us. I was so fortunate to work for the State and be able to take sick-leave time to do that. I still had time left when I went back to work because I never needed it for myself.

And so….the month ended. Everything was in order and my life was ready to go on from here. I had a loving family and lots of friends….the way was open for me to explore new beginnings. I was determined not to live in the past…..and so I decided to find out who Esther was “now,” and make every minute count. Life is a gift for a short time and I didn’t want to waste time on things that didn’t matter………

Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther