Tuesday, September 20, 2005
FEBRUARY 8TH, 9TH AND 10TH...1997 THE LAST FAREWELL
The next day was spent making arrangements. Bear and I had planned his funeral together and had talked with our pastor about it so that part was done. The rest needed some immediate decisions. Becky and Linda made the rounds with me and we were home in the afternoon when John, Barbara and L.J. arrived from Covington. We had a lot of drop-in company. People brought food until I had to pile it everywhere…..their generosity and kindness was overwhelming and humbling. They were doing the same things I had done so many times before but I always forget how much help it is not to have to cook or think about food at a time like that.
Whoever was around at mealtime was invited to eat with us…..no thought that the food would run out. It was a warm and heartfelt evening as we remembered things about Bear that made us laugh. He certainly was a reactive kind of guy and we had a lot of “Bear stories”……….
The next day we had to go to the funeral home to view the body to let the undertaker know all was agreeable for the next day. We went early to avoid others coming in as we wanted a little quiet time. When I walked up to the casket, I took a sudden big breath……Sherman (the undertaker) had put a faint smile on Bear’s face that looked like he was ready to break into a big grin. I shot a look at Sherman who was watching my reaction…..he was smiling and said, “I had to do it. I never saw that guy that he wasn’t smiling and pulling something on me. He was always bugging me about something.” It was obvious Sherman was pleased with his work. I just walked up to him and gave him a big hug….. “Thanks for the gift, Sherman. That is really special.”
Along with many visitors, Becky’s best friend came from Kansas City with her husband and their daughter and George arrived with Jennifer and Jamie. He had picked them up at the airport and brought them with him. That evening was special with all the family and many friends who couldn’t seem to stay away. I was thankful for the fact that Bear had touched so many lives. He was a guy that would walk across the street to say hello to someone………he always brightened up their day.
The next day was the 10th of February and the day of the funeral. The family and I arrived at the church early to be served dinner and then taken into the sanctuary for the service. The Missouri Highway Patrol was well represented. When I saw my peers, the Driver’s Examiner’s and the Captain and Lt. Emerson along with others, it was hard to keep sobs from coming up my throat. All were in uniform and they walked in together. Bear had said over and over that he didn’t want me crying at his funeral. He wanted me to have a big smile on my face and wear something “pretty…no black.” After all, he had said, “I’m going to be in heaven so there is no need to cry…..don’t be sad.”
A former pastor of ours that had been very close to Bear and to me did part of the service and the pastor of our church did the rest. Bear loved the song, Daystar, and the service began with that. His other favorite songs were interspersed in the service. I caught a glimpse of our dentist from Springfield who drove down for Bear’s funeral….a testimony of how Bear influenced people. Dr. Beasley brought his assistant who had worked on Bear many times over the years……….they had over 100 miles to drive back after it was over. Dr. Beasley is a very special man. He kept Bear’s picture on his X-ray light for years. Bear had impacted his life.
Driving to the cemetery was something Bear would have loved. He said he wanted Sherman to drive fast, passing cars and honking…..it was something they both laughed about. Sure enough, Sherman drove fast and almost lost the rest of us. When we reached the city limits of Willow Springs, the Police Chief was waiting for us with his lights flashing to lead us to the cemetery……(our church is 20 miles away)….some high school boys were running in preparation for a track meet along the highway and when they saw the funeral procession they pulled off their stocking caps and put their hands over their hearts as they ran by. It certainly made an impression with me.
By the time we drove through town and arrived at the cemetery, the Police Chief stopped and got out of the car at the entrance and saluted when we passed by. We could see the canopy over the open grave and the American Legion Honor Guard standing at parade rest with their rifles. Flags were flying and it was something Bear would have been so proud of. His flag draped casket was carefully taken from the hearse to the grave and both pastors had a few words. A 21-gun salute was fired and the men took the flag from the casket and folded it carefully, then bringing it to me. The sad look on the man’s face brought sudden tears to my eyes……he was one old veteran presiding over another old veteran from wars dating back to WW11. It was one of those cameo moments that will stay with me forever……..then the mournful “taps” sounded across the grass and headstones….the birds hushed and all was quiet for a moment……then the echo of taps…..
Having the family and our friends, the men I worked with and all the others who came was so very special. Sherman walked over to me when I was standing alone in thought for a moment and said he wanted to show me something. He took me by the arm and led me to the vault. He pointed to the word, BEAR, and looked to see my reaction. I just shook my head and smiled…… “ He would have loved that, Sherman. Your thoughtfulness shows the love you had for the guy”……….
That night was the last we were all together. The next day would take us all miles apart in every direction……Bear was safely home and for the rest of us we would pick up and go on, even though it would never be the same………….
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Whoever was around at mealtime was invited to eat with us…..no thought that the food would run out. It was a warm and heartfelt evening as we remembered things about Bear that made us laugh. He certainly was a reactive kind of guy and we had a lot of “Bear stories”……….
The next day we had to go to the funeral home to view the body to let the undertaker know all was agreeable for the next day. We went early to avoid others coming in as we wanted a little quiet time. When I walked up to the casket, I took a sudden big breath……Sherman (the undertaker) had put a faint smile on Bear’s face that looked like he was ready to break into a big grin. I shot a look at Sherman who was watching my reaction…..he was smiling and said, “I had to do it. I never saw that guy that he wasn’t smiling and pulling something on me. He was always bugging me about something.” It was obvious Sherman was pleased with his work. I just walked up to him and gave him a big hug….. “Thanks for the gift, Sherman. That is really special.”
Along with many visitors, Becky’s best friend came from Kansas City with her husband and their daughter and George arrived with Jennifer and Jamie. He had picked them up at the airport and brought them with him. That evening was special with all the family and many friends who couldn’t seem to stay away. I was thankful for the fact that Bear had touched so many lives. He was a guy that would walk across the street to say hello to someone………he always brightened up their day.
The next day was the 10th of February and the day of the funeral. The family and I arrived at the church early to be served dinner and then taken into the sanctuary for the service. The Missouri Highway Patrol was well represented. When I saw my peers, the Driver’s Examiner’s and the Captain and Lt. Emerson along with others, it was hard to keep sobs from coming up my throat. All were in uniform and they walked in together. Bear had said over and over that he didn’t want me crying at his funeral. He wanted me to have a big smile on my face and wear something “pretty…no black.” After all, he had said, “I’m going to be in heaven so there is no need to cry…..don’t be sad.”
A former pastor of ours that had been very close to Bear and to me did part of the service and the pastor of our church did the rest. Bear loved the song, Daystar, and the service began with that. His other favorite songs were interspersed in the service. I caught a glimpse of our dentist from Springfield who drove down for Bear’s funeral….a testimony of how Bear influenced people. Dr. Beasley brought his assistant who had worked on Bear many times over the years……….they had over 100 miles to drive back after it was over. Dr. Beasley is a very special man. He kept Bear’s picture on his X-ray light for years. Bear had impacted his life.
Driving to the cemetery was something Bear would have loved. He said he wanted Sherman to drive fast, passing cars and honking…..it was something they both laughed about. Sure enough, Sherman drove fast and almost lost the rest of us. When we reached the city limits of Willow Springs, the Police Chief was waiting for us with his lights flashing to lead us to the cemetery……(our church is 20 miles away)….some high school boys were running in preparation for a track meet along the highway and when they saw the funeral procession they pulled off their stocking caps and put their hands over their hearts as they ran by. It certainly made an impression with me.
By the time we drove through town and arrived at the cemetery, the Police Chief stopped and got out of the car at the entrance and saluted when we passed by. We could see the canopy over the open grave and the American Legion Honor Guard standing at parade rest with their rifles. Flags were flying and it was something Bear would have been so proud of. His flag draped casket was carefully taken from the hearse to the grave and both pastors had a few words. A 21-gun salute was fired and the men took the flag from the casket and folded it carefully, then bringing it to me. The sad look on the man’s face brought sudden tears to my eyes……he was one old veteran presiding over another old veteran from wars dating back to WW11. It was one of those cameo moments that will stay with me forever……..then the mournful “taps” sounded across the grass and headstones….the birds hushed and all was quiet for a moment……then the echo of taps…..
Having the family and our friends, the men I worked with and all the others who came was so very special. Sherman walked over to me when I was standing alone in thought for a moment and said he wanted to show me something. He took me by the arm and led me to the vault. He pointed to the word, BEAR, and looked to see my reaction. I just shook my head and smiled…… “ He would have loved that, Sherman. Your thoughtfulness shows the love you had for the guy”……….
That night was the last we were all together. The next day would take us all miles apart in every direction……Bear was safely home and for the rest of us we would pick up and go on, even though it would never be the same………….
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
