Friday, September 23, 2005
APRIL....1997
April was April. It’s the time to begin cleaning the yard for Spring plantings and scratching the lawn up good for fertilizer. I knew the outdoor jobs would be hardest for me because Bear always kept the lawn trimmed and looking good. However, now it was my challenge. I made up my mind I would work at it until I had the basics down and could get it under control. Raking in spring is important here because some of the oaks don’t lose all their leaves until the buds push them off. We have about a half acre in grass, shrubbery and flowering bushes. A couple of flower beds finish up the landscaping. The back half is all timber.
We had a riding mower that was specially changed to Bear’s need for right foot clutch etc; He loved that thing and could do anything with it. He had a little wagon for the back and it served well when it came to carting his tools for lawn grooming. I was hesitant to learn how to use it. He spent one day before he could no longer go outside showing me how to run the thing. I was totally unable to connect to his instructions. I kept thinking, “The guys dying and he’s trying to show me how to run this stupid mower to keep the lawn up that he enjoyed doing so much………” He was so patient and I was totally out of it. I had such a mental block it was a waste of time. I was defeated and never planned to use it.
So this first spring that he was gone I raked by hand. I raked and raked and raked. I never got one section of the yard finished until I had to do it all over again. It was exhausting to come home from work and go out to rake. Of course, Becky helped but even with that we couldn’t catch up. Becky got the mower out and ran the thing around like a race car. It was very evident this was the wave of the future. I knew I would attempt to run the thing when leaves fell in the fall.
Things kind of went down hill after Bear died. I discovered the carpeting was wet under the water tank to the stool. With a little investigation I could see it had been going on a long time because the floor was weak around the stool. It never entered my mind before with everything else going on. I called a plumber…..an old gentleman that did odd jobs around town and was cheaper than the two younger businesses that were run by local men. He investigated long enough to tell me the tank was cracked and the water had trailed down the small pipe to the floor. It had been working its evil plan for some time….the floor around the stool was shot.
My inexpensive plumber was going on vacation to visit his family in Colorado and I would have to wait till he came back to finish the job. When two weeks went by I was impatient and called a young neighbor who all of his own worked building his house and he told me he would fix it for me. In no time he had a new floor in and everything was ready for a new stool. After a third week went by I called my first plumber and he came with the replacement stool. I was being introduced to the exclusive club of repairmen. They normally don’t come back to jobs they don’t want to do until you call, and call and call. They are as unreliable as a TV weatherman.
About this time, the Army decided that Fort Leonard Wood would no longer make medical appointments available to retirees. Being a dependent of a retiree meant I was way down the food chain. The Fort was expanding to accept busted up Military Bases other places and the influx of troops and their dependents would take first priority. Bear would have turned over in his grave to know that. Now all of the old WW11 vets all the way up to Nam were steadily loosing their privileges promised for their military careers. They would still fill prescriptions but that was it.
I was slowly being weaned away from the Fort and all the military accommodations I had enjoyed being married to Bear. Still, I couldn’t feel indignant. The Service had served Bear well through his several crises during his retirement time and that was the important thing. Without their open door we would have been bankrupt. I was fortunate to have good health, myself, so I didn’t figure I would ever need more than my Highway Patrol insurance could provide. At 73, I have all my body parts in tact, had three normal pregnancies and one broken toe. I know how fortunate I am. This was just one more change in a long series of things to get used to now.
I asked Larry (the good neighbor) if he would consider putting a new roof on the garage and he took on the job. He was young and strong as an ox……he had the roof on and reinforced the beams in the garage in no time. Later I hired him again to put some lattice work around the deck.
The end of April was the last time for me to wear long sleeves and tie. It was time for the summer uniform and only two months away from my retirement date. I was eager and yet hesitant. I love the beginning of things, I have never liked endings. Even an unpleasant attachment is hard for me to leave and certainly more so when I have loved the thing I was leaving. Still, I knew it was the thing to do and as each day was the “end” of something…..I knew it was just the beginning of another chapter for me…….
Until Monday,
Essentially Esther
We had a riding mower that was specially changed to Bear’s need for right foot clutch etc; He loved that thing and could do anything with it. He had a little wagon for the back and it served well when it came to carting his tools for lawn grooming. I was hesitant to learn how to use it. He spent one day before he could no longer go outside showing me how to run the thing. I was totally unable to connect to his instructions. I kept thinking, “The guys dying and he’s trying to show me how to run this stupid mower to keep the lawn up that he enjoyed doing so much………” He was so patient and I was totally out of it. I had such a mental block it was a waste of time. I was defeated and never planned to use it.
So this first spring that he was gone I raked by hand. I raked and raked and raked. I never got one section of the yard finished until I had to do it all over again. It was exhausting to come home from work and go out to rake. Of course, Becky helped but even with that we couldn’t catch up. Becky got the mower out and ran the thing around like a race car. It was very evident this was the wave of the future. I knew I would attempt to run the thing when leaves fell in the fall.
Things kind of went down hill after Bear died. I discovered the carpeting was wet under the water tank to the stool. With a little investigation I could see it had been going on a long time because the floor was weak around the stool. It never entered my mind before with everything else going on. I called a plumber…..an old gentleman that did odd jobs around town and was cheaper than the two younger businesses that were run by local men. He investigated long enough to tell me the tank was cracked and the water had trailed down the small pipe to the floor. It had been working its evil plan for some time….the floor around the stool was shot.
My inexpensive plumber was going on vacation to visit his family in Colorado and I would have to wait till he came back to finish the job. When two weeks went by I was impatient and called a young neighbor who all of his own worked building his house and he told me he would fix it for me. In no time he had a new floor in and everything was ready for a new stool. After a third week went by I called my first plumber and he came with the replacement stool. I was being introduced to the exclusive club of repairmen. They normally don’t come back to jobs they don’t want to do until you call, and call and call. They are as unreliable as a TV weatherman.
About this time, the Army decided that Fort Leonard Wood would no longer make medical appointments available to retirees. Being a dependent of a retiree meant I was way down the food chain. The Fort was expanding to accept busted up Military Bases other places and the influx of troops and their dependents would take first priority. Bear would have turned over in his grave to know that. Now all of the old WW11 vets all the way up to Nam were steadily loosing their privileges promised for their military careers. They would still fill prescriptions but that was it.
I was slowly being weaned away from the Fort and all the military accommodations I had enjoyed being married to Bear. Still, I couldn’t feel indignant. The Service had served Bear well through his several crises during his retirement time and that was the important thing. Without their open door we would have been bankrupt. I was fortunate to have good health, myself, so I didn’t figure I would ever need more than my Highway Patrol insurance could provide. At 73, I have all my body parts in tact, had three normal pregnancies and one broken toe. I know how fortunate I am. This was just one more change in a long series of things to get used to now.
I asked Larry (the good neighbor) if he would consider putting a new roof on the garage and he took on the job. He was young and strong as an ox……he had the roof on and reinforced the beams in the garage in no time. Later I hired him again to put some lattice work around the deck.
The end of April was the last time for me to wear long sleeves and tie. It was time for the summer uniform and only two months away from my retirement date. I was eager and yet hesitant. I love the beginning of things, I have never liked endings. Even an unpleasant attachment is hard for me to leave and certainly more so when I have loved the thing I was leaving. Still, I knew it was the thing to do and as each day was the “end” of something…..I knew it was just the beginning of another chapter for me…….
Until Monday,
Essentially Esther
