Tuesday, May 10, 2005
JULY AND AUGUST.....1991
July came in with expected heat. Lee Remick died (on July 2nd) of lung and kidney cancer. She was only 55-years old but cancer has no favorites. We always enjoyed her movies. July is a hard month to work because the crew is always short….someone is usually on vacation which means whoever is left has to step up to the plate and work harder. The heat and working short-handed usually wrings you out pretty good by the time the day is over.
Mom was slowly growing worse. She was having mini-strokes which left her incapacitated most of the time and certainly not in a mood for conversation. She was getting thinner all the time because she didn’t eat, drink or take her medications. When I took my worries to the staff, they just said, “We can’t make her eat or take her meds. We are required to ask three times if they want either one and if they say ‘no’ we take it away.” Imagine my frustration with that logic. I had mom in the nursing home to be taken care of and now they tell me if she doesn’t want food or medication she doesn’t get it.
Mom was getting thinner and thinner as well as more with-drawn. Each time I went to see her there were a different set of problems…..and all things that I had no control over. The staff was beginning to think I was a family member who was making too many complaints….I could see it on their faces when I entered the building. If they could have read my inner thoughts they would have no doubt that I was unhappy with them. They were the “care givers”…..they were to take care of mom but instead when I came in I had to second guess everything that went on and try to find a positive solution. Apparently, I was the only one who cared if she lived or died.
I struggled on during the month, trying to get her to eat or drink and trying to be there for the evening meds to see that she took them. It was an endless frustration to say nothing of what mom was going through. By the time August rolled around I had her taking enough nourishment that she was able to be up in her wheel chair again but she lost 5-pounds during July and she was just a sack of bones. It was hard to go in with a big smile and attempt a normal visit.
On August 2nd, Bear, Becky and I drove to St. Louis to pick Jennifer up from the airport. She came home for her birthday the next day and to get ready to go back to Canton, to college. She was tan and looked like a young woman instead of the young girl we sent to Louisiana for the summer. She had a certain confidence about her that was notably different….Jennifer was growing up. We found her luggage and then a place to eat before driving back.
The next day we went back to see mom. One of the aides had closed the heavy medal door to the bathroom on her fingers and they were badly bruised and hurting. I was worried about one of her nails, thinking it would come off….it had been badly mashed. After a few days of pain killers and ointments they managed to save her nail and in time the bruising went away.
On August 19th America was shocked to learn Russia had a coup against Mikhail Gorbachev and in the following days we watched as the Soviet Union underwent a change of leaders. The riots had devastated many government buildings and the streets were full of pandemonium and killing. It was a very unsettled time for the whole world. By the 25th Gorbachev was freed from his house arrest and everyone was safe in his family. Russia declared freedom and democracy…..the satellites declared independence from Russia and the world stage marveled at the change of events in the past few days.
Uncle Buster and aunt Phyllis came for a short visit and we went to see mom. He was always very close to her and she knew him. It was a good visit for both of them. Uncle Buster talked to Bear about a new car and promised to go home and see what he could do on a trade-in etc; he was employed in a Chevy Car Dealership. He called a few days later to complete the sale of a Pontiac Bonneville. Bear made arrangements to pick it up when it came in and had undergone the detailing. It would be a few weeks.
We are always glad to see the end of August. It means the worst of the summer is over and we can look forward to rain again and some cooler temperatures. This fall would be different though and I think we knew………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Mom was slowly growing worse. She was having mini-strokes which left her incapacitated most of the time and certainly not in a mood for conversation. She was getting thinner all the time because she didn’t eat, drink or take her medications. When I took my worries to the staff, they just said, “We can’t make her eat or take her meds. We are required to ask three times if they want either one and if they say ‘no’ we take it away.” Imagine my frustration with that logic. I had mom in the nursing home to be taken care of and now they tell me if she doesn’t want food or medication she doesn’t get it.
Mom was getting thinner and thinner as well as more with-drawn. Each time I went to see her there were a different set of problems…..and all things that I had no control over. The staff was beginning to think I was a family member who was making too many complaints….I could see it on their faces when I entered the building. If they could have read my inner thoughts they would have no doubt that I was unhappy with them. They were the “care givers”…..they were to take care of mom but instead when I came in I had to second guess everything that went on and try to find a positive solution. Apparently, I was the only one who cared if she lived or died.
I struggled on during the month, trying to get her to eat or drink and trying to be there for the evening meds to see that she took them. It was an endless frustration to say nothing of what mom was going through. By the time August rolled around I had her taking enough nourishment that she was able to be up in her wheel chair again but she lost 5-pounds during July and she was just a sack of bones. It was hard to go in with a big smile and attempt a normal visit.
On August 2nd, Bear, Becky and I drove to St. Louis to pick Jennifer up from the airport. She came home for her birthday the next day and to get ready to go back to Canton, to college. She was tan and looked like a young woman instead of the young girl we sent to Louisiana for the summer. She had a certain confidence about her that was notably different….Jennifer was growing up. We found her luggage and then a place to eat before driving back.
The next day we went back to see mom. One of the aides had closed the heavy medal door to the bathroom on her fingers and they were badly bruised and hurting. I was worried about one of her nails, thinking it would come off….it had been badly mashed. After a few days of pain killers and ointments they managed to save her nail and in time the bruising went away.
On August 19th America was shocked to learn Russia had a coup against Mikhail Gorbachev and in the following days we watched as the Soviet Union underwent a change of leaders. The riots had devastated many government buildings and the streets were full of pandemonium and killing. It was a very unsettled time for the whole world. By the 25th Gorbachev was freed from his house arrest and everyone was safe in his family. Russia declared freedom and democracy…..the satellites declared independence from Russia and the world stage marveled at the change of events in the past few days.
Uncle Buster and aunt Phyllis came for a short visit and we went to see mom. He was always very close to her and she knew him. It was a good visit for both of them. Uncle Buster talked to Bear about a new car and promised to go home and see what he could do on a trade-in etc; he was employed in a Chevy Car Dealership. He called a few days later to complete the sale of a Pontiac Bonneville. Bear made arrangements to pick it up when it came in and had undergone the detailing. It would be a few weeks.
We are always glad to see the end of August. It means the worst of the summer is over and we can look forward to rain again and some cooler temperatures. This fall would be different though and I think we knew………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
