Saturday, April 30, 2005
SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER....1990
September was a month of getting used to Jennifer being gone, looking after mom and working. We talked with Jennifer on the phone several times and Becky was on the phone a lot. With the freedom and independence that came from going off to college, there was a culture shock in the package. Whereas ‘mom’ used to fix everything that blew up from an ill wind, now she had to cope and make decisions. It’s a real eye-opener to find that sometimes the decisions don’t hold the options you want.
One positive thing in her favor was the offer of an office job in the Alumni Assn. on campus. I don’t know if Jennifer had computer training at that time or not. I would imagine she didn’t since she graduated from a small school in the Ozarks. Funding wasn’t very good for a town of 2,000 people and their school system. At any rate, she either learned or honed her skills in this job. Older women were her co-workers and she did very well with them. Jennifer spent a lot of her life with her mother and me as role models and communicated very well. She usually had difficulty getting along with her own age group. She found them immature….which is natural when you spend your time with adults.
Another thing that helped her find self-worth was the sorority she was initiated into. She wanted this one particular one and was happy to be selected by them. During her time at college and working in the sorority she plumbed depths of talent and organizational skills she might never have known. We watched her become confident and more independent with every visit. She left the dorm and moved into the sorority house….again, becoming good friends with the older woman who was their “house mother.” After feeling such a loss with her gone we were beginning to see the metamorphous taking place and were very proud of her growing capability.
Becky, Bear and I continued our visits to see mom. During the day when questions or problems came up…..decisions to make, Bear was handy to take care of it all. He did a masterful job of all the paperwork and watching out for her interests. He kept the yard well groomed, ran all the errands and cleaned house every Friday so I didn’t have to waste the week-end with the chores. I couldn’t have worked, looked after mom and kept the home fires burning without his help.
September and October are busy months in our church. The nominating committee is busy finding new officers and the finance committee is busy with the church budget. The new church year begins the first of October and so everything was in place and ready to welcome new (and in many cases) the same faithful ones to serve. Bear and I had carried a heavy load for many years with multi-responsibilities. It was becoming increasingly harder with mom’s health turning worse. Still, we couldn’t find it in us to cut back on the areas we filled. It was a “faith” exercise that somehow we would find the time and strength to get it all done….and God provided.
My brother’s wife came to visit during October for his birthday. It had been a year since she had been able to come. Of course, after a spouse is gone there is endless paperwork and bureaucracy to work through. She still lived in their home in Renton, WA. and the distance kept her from coming sooner. Bear met her at the airport in Springfield and they were here when I came from work. George drove down from Shawnee and we had a nice visit with both of them over the weekend. We visited mom and brought her out for meals while Gail and George were here.
October passed with the preparation for winter. Leaf removal is always a job when you live under many oaks and that requires the leaves to be removed from the roof. Becky came down for coffee one Saturday morning and when she found out I was planning to do, she had a fit and did it for me. I never did that job again. Bear painted the garage and managed it all except the very highest part. He pulled himself up the ladder with his arm strength and planted his foot on the rung….he always amazed me with his determination and strength. I never thought of him as “handicapped” …..it would have been a misnomer.
And so, the beauty, the majesty and the harvests relented their domination as November came to call………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
One positive thing in her favor was the offer of an office job in the Alumni Assn. on campus. I don’t know if Jennifer had computer training at that time or not. I would imagine she didn’t since she graduated from a small school in the Ozarks. Funding wasn’t very good for a town of 2,000 people and their school system. At any rate, she either learned or honed her skills in this job. Older women were her co-workers and she did very well with them. Jennifer spent a lot of her life with her mother and me as role models and communicated very well. She usually had difficulty getting along with her own age group. She found them immature….which is natural when you spend your time with adults.
Another thing that helped her find self-worth was the sorority she was initiated into. She wanted this one particular one and was happy to be selected by them. During her time at college and working in the sorority she plumbed depths of talent and organizational skills she might never have known. We watched her become confident and more independent with every visit. She left the dorm and moved into the sorority house….again, becoming good friends with the older woman who was their “house mother.” After feeling such a loss with her gone we were beginning to see the metamorphous taking place and were very proud of her growing capability.
Becky, Bear and I continued our visits to see mom. During the day when questions or problems came up…..decisions to make, Bear was handy to take care of it all. He did a masterful job of all the paperwork and watching out for her interests. He kept the yard well groomed, ran all the errands and cleaned house every Friday so I didn’t have to waste the week-end with the chores. I couldn’t have worked, looked after mom and kept the home fires burning without his help.
September and October are busy months in our church. The nominating committee is busy finding new officers and the finance committee is busy with the church budget. The new church year begins the first of October and so everything was in place and ready to welcome new (and in many cases) the same faithful ones to serve. Bear and I had carried a heavy load for many years with multi-responsibilities. It was becoming increasingly harder with mom’s health turning worse. Still, we couldn’t find it in us to cut back on the areas we filled. It was a “faith” exercise that somehow we would find the time and strength to get it all done….and God provided.
My brother’s wife came to visit during October for his birthday. It had been a year since she had been able to come. Of course, after a spouse is gone there is endless paperwork and bureaucracy to work through. She still lived in their home in Renton, WA. and the distance kept her from coming sooner. Bear met her at the airport in Springfield and they were here when I came from work. George drove down from Shawnee and we had a nice visit with both of them over the weekend. We visited mom and brought her out for meals while Gail and George were here.
October passed with the preparation for winter. Leaf removal is always a job when you live under many oaks and that requires the leaves to be removed from the roof. Becky came down for coffee one Saturday morning and when she found out I was planning to do, she had a fit and did it for me. I never did that job again. Bear painted the garage and managed it all except the very highest part. He pulled himself up the ladder with his arm strength and planted his foot on the rung….he always amazed me with his determination and strength. I never thought of him as “handicapped” …..it would have been a misnomer.
And so, the beauty, the majesty and the harvests relented their domination as November came to call………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
