Wednesday, April 06, 2005
FAREWELL TO MY BROTHER.....
After paying homage to Missy, I will continue with the year, 1989 and try to finish up. It was strange that Jake was put to sleep the day my brother died and when I was about to write of my brother’s funeral these many years hence…. we had to put Missy to sleep. Sometimes a higher power is very evident in the grand scheme of things. I am one who believes God is very active in each day of our lives and sometimes we get a glimpse of him working out the plan. I believe nothing is lost to his attention and is there to nurture in good times and bad. We learn from both.
My sister-in-law, Gail, followed my brother’s wishes to have him cremated and brought back to Willow Springs for burial. We had a family plot where the four of us would be with our spouses. It took time to accomplish the inevitable string of red tape that goes with a death and flying half-way across the country. Gail asked me to plan his funeral since I was here and knew what to do and who to ask to complete the service. I had planned our dad’s funeral and now my brother’s. It was a labor of love for me……I knew what they would find appropriate without a lot of fanfare.
On the 30th of November, Gail flew back with his ashes, on a day that should have been a happy one for her and Louis both. Instead, she was coming back for his burial….it would have been their 26th wedding anniversary. It was also Bear’s birthday. After we picked Gail up at the airport we took her to a quiet restaurant for lunch….none of us had eaten and it was a nice way to relax before heading home.
The next day our family began arriving and continued all through the afternoon. Uncle Roger and aunt Phyllis, aunt Sally, Mark, Maggie, Joyce and Bruce….then Gail’s mother, her brother and his wife and a cousin. It was a time of tears and laughter, mixed….the many fun times we spent with Louis and the sad demise of an early death, due to lung cancer. He spent his 61st birthday in ICU a month before he died.
The day of the funeral we were inundated with food and visitors. In a small town, even though Louis had been gone many years and only a few knew him, mom and dad were well known in the community and Bear and I had been here 18-years at the time. There was a sizeable crowd for the funeral and it would have done my brother proud…..the front of the church was a bank of poinsettias for the holiday season and two large wreaths hung behind the choir loft. The service was short and after a brief prayer at the cemetery, we brought mom back to a warm house. She stood the service pretty well, except she kept fidgeting with her hanky and leaned over several times to say, “I don’t know why he did that…..I wish he hadn’t done that….” and then her voice would trail off. Her eyes were glued to the small child sized casket that held his remains throughout the service. Mom never could come to terms with his cremation.
The next day relatives were leaving in all directions and the family circle was pried apart once more. December brought the usual Christmas activities but it wasn’t the same after all the sorrow of the past few weeks. The heart has never functioned well with days on a calendar……now it was just mom and me from our little family of four.
And so my brother’s death affected two of our pets, Jake and Missy in a strange way. I hope when it is my time to go through the last gate that someone holds me in their arms as I held Missy on Saturday….and I hope I will find the grace and courage that little cat had. We are not meant to stay…..our journey ends when we are welcomed home the last time…..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
My sister-in-law, Gail, followed my brother’s wishes to have him cremated and brought back to Willow Springs for burial. We had a family plot where the four of us would be with our spouses. It took time to accomplish the inevitable string of red tape that goes with a death and flying half-way across the country. Gail asked me to plan his funeral since I was here and knew what to do and who to ask to complete the service. I had planned our dad’s funeral and now my brother’s. It was a labor of love for me……I knew what they would find appropriate without a lot of fanfare.
On the 30th of November, Gail flew back with his ashes, on a day that should have been a happy one for her and Louis both. Instead, she was coming back for his burial….it would have been their 26th wedding anniversary. It was also Bear’s birthday. After we picked Gail up at the airport we took her to a quiet restaurant for lunch….none of us had eaten and it was a nice way to relax before heading home.
The next day our family began arriving and continued all through the afternoon. Uncle Roger and aunt Phyllis, aunt Sally, Mark, Maggie, Joyce and Bruce….then Gail’s mother, her brother and his wife and a cousin. It was a time of tears and laughter, mixed….the many fun times we spent with Louis and the sad demise of an early death, due to lung cancer. He spent his 61st birthday in ICU a month before he died.
The day of the funeral we were inundated with food and visitors. In a small town, even though Louis had been gone many years and only a few knew him, mom and dad were well known in the community and Bear and I had been here 18-years at the time. There was a sizeable crowd for the funeral and it would have done my brother proud…..the front of the church was a bank of poinsettias for the holiday season and two large wreaths hung behind the choir loft. The service was short and after a brief prayer at the cemetery, we brought mom back to a warm house. She stood the service pretty well, except she kept fidgeting with her hanky and leaned over several times to say, “I don’t know why he did that…..I wish he hadn’t done that….” and then her voice would trail off. Her eyes were glued to the small child sized casket that held his remains throughout the service. Mom never could come to terms with his cremation.
The next day relatives were leaving in all directions and the family circle was pried apart once more. December brought the usual Christmas activities but it wasn’t the same after all the sorrow of the past few weeks. The heart has never functioned well with days on a calendar……now it was just mom and me from our little family of four.
And so my brother’s death affected two of our pets, Jake and Missy in a strange way. I hope when it is my time to go through the last gate that someone holds me in their arms as I held Missy on Saturday….and I hope I will find the grace and courage that little cat had. We are not meant to stay…..our journey ends when we are welcomed home the last time…..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
