Tuesday, April 05, 2005
FAREWELL TO MISSY.... NOVEMBER 18, 1998 APRIL 02, 2005
As the summer wore on, Missy was favoring her front joints which made her walking slow. Her body was higher in the back-half and lower in front. I gave her ample time to get over whatever it was but it didn’t improve. She never flinched or acted like it hurt her. I was puzzled about it because I hadn’t seen any reason for the apparent difficulty she was having. I took her to the vet for a big round of tests and he could find nothing. Although she was leukemia positive none of her symptoms were connected to it. Doc did find a break in her pelvic area and one back leg (from the x-rays) that had healed and were old injuries. He thought maybe she had been hit by a car before she came to me. He was as puzzled about it as I was. He didn’t think it would help to have further tests…..
Missy never left our yard. She did have her little routines that she followed religiously and she enjoyed sitting in my “retirement rocking chair” on the deck. It was close to the door where she could see me every time I came and went. It was frequent because the garage was also our storage area for everything we didn’t have room for in the house. She was always happy if she could hear me running the sweeper, shutting the door on the dryer or even passing by on the other side of the house…..her ears would perk up and it was my signal that she heard me and knew I was there. Her world was content.
Her favorite times were when I worked in the flower garden and would be in one spot for a while. Many times I’ve been working away and suddenly see her inches away under a bush…I think she got a kick out of startling me like that. I swear that Missy almost grinned at those times. She was like a wisp of gossamer …she could walk so quietly and move through and around things daintily and precise.
The months went by and we knew Missy was never going to get over her strange malady. By fall she would laboriously go up or down the steps of the deck to either lie in the rocker or to lie under bushes in my rock garden. She loved the sunshine but as time went on she must have felt vulnerable because she would try to find a protected spot. I spent more and more time with her because I knew the day would come when I’d have to say goodbye.
When winter came we brought Missy into the house. Fifteen months went by after that. She couldn’t stand up long enough to eat what she needed so she would take a few bites and then lay down. Fearful of her losing weight, I began feeding her from a small dish with a three-tined fork that belonged to my grandmother Stricklett. It had a horn handle and metal tines. It was perfect to push little bits of food over to her mouth and after a few days she began eating enough at a time to sustain her. I kept her on a wing-back chair so the “house cats” wouldn’t bother her. I became the owner of two other strays before Missy came and two, since. It was a chore to have four kitties indoors but I was determined to make Missy as comfortable as I could.
Winter passed and spring came the second time.…..Missy stayed on the chair by day and the floor by night. I carried her to the litter box so she could potty…..then back to the chair after she had a brief clean-up. It was hard on me to take her most private functions over for her….mentally, I hated it for her. She was very fussy about keeping clean and was unable to do so any more. I groomed her several times a day and massaged her right side which was the one she preferred laying on. She would meticulously “wash” her front paws which was the only body parts she could get to. She accepted whatever we had to do in the remaining months to keep her fed, clean and comfortable.
We took her on two trips to Shawnee when we visited George and one trip to Sikeston, MO. where we met Rocky’s family for a reunion. She made the trips very well and was happy as long as she could see me in the car or the room where she was. She continued to weaken and finally by Easter time she refused most of the food I offered. I knew then the time was near. She would eat just to make me happy for a few bites and then turn her little head. There was never any wondering if Missy didn’t want something. I allowed her to choose or not to eat. Though my concern grew larger every day I knew I had to let her make the choice to go or stay.
In the end, I think she knew I could never let her go, so she did what she had to do. Her gift to me was taking the decision out of my hands. It was only when her breathing was becoming shallow that I knew I must let her go. On that last day I held her in my arms like a little baby as the young vet gave her the shot. We stood outside in the bright sunshine that she loved; the birds singing caused her ears to perk up for a moment……a familiar sound to a kitty who spent most of her life outside…her nose took in the fresh air and she slowly closed her eyes as she drifted away.
It was hard to say goodbye.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Missy never left our yard. She did have her little routines that she followed religiously and she enjoyed sitting in my “retirement rocking chair” on the deck. It was close to the door where she could see me every time I came and went. It was frequent because the garage was also our storage area for everything we didn’t have room for in the house. She was always happy if she could hear me running the sweeper, shutting the door on the dryer or even passing by on the other side of the house…..her ears would perk up and it was my signal that she heard me and knew I was there. Her world was content.
Her favorite times were when I worked in the flower garden and would be in one spot for a while. Many times I’ve been working away and suddenly see her inches away under a bush…I think she got a kick out of startling me like that. I swear that Missy almost grinned at those times. She was like a wisp of gossamer …she could walk so quietly and move through and around things daintily and precise.
The months went by and we knew Missy was never going to get over her strange malady. By fall she would laboriously go up or down the steps of the deck to either lie in the rocker or to lie under bushes in my rock garden. She loved the sunshine but as time went on she must have felt vulnerable because she would try to find a protected spot. I spent more and more time with her because I knew the day would come when I’d have to say goodbye.
When winter came we brought Missy into the house. Fifteen months went by after that. She couldn’t stand up long enough to eat what she needed so she would take a few bites and then lay down. Fearful of her losing weight, I began feeding her from a small dish with a three-tined fork that belonged to my grandmother Stricklett. It had a horn handle and metal tines. It was perfect to push little bits of food over to her mouth and after a few days she began eating enough at a time to sustain her. I kept her on a wing-back chair so the “house cats” wouldn’t bother her. I became the owner of two other strays before Missy came and two, since. It was a chore to have four kitties indoors but I was determined to make Missy as comfortable as I could.
Winter passed and spring came the second time.…..Missy stayed on the chair by day and the floor by night. I carried her to the litter box so she could potty…..then back to the chair after she had a brief clean-up. It was hard on me to take her most private functions over for her….mentally, I hated it for her. She was very fussy about keeping clean and was unable to do so any more. I groomed her several times a day and massaged her right side which was the one she preferred laying on. She would meticulously “wash” her front paws which was the only body parts she could get to. She accepted whatever we had to do in the remaining months to keep her fed, clean and comfortable.
We took her on two trips to Shawnee when we visited George and one trip to Sikeston, MO. where we met Rocky’s family for a reunion. She made the trips very well and was happy as long as she could see me in the car or the room where she was. She continued to weaken and finally by Easter time she refused most of the food I offered. I knew then the time was near. She would eat just to make me happy for a few bites and then turn her little head. There was never any wondering if Missy didn’t want something. I allowed her to choose or not to eat. Though my concern grew larger every day I knew I had to let her make the choice to go or stay.
In the end, I think she knew I could never let her go, so she did what she had to do. Her gift to me was taking the decision out of my hands. It was only when her breathing was becoming shallow that I knew I must let her go. On that last day I held her in my arms like a little baby as the young vet gave her the shot. We stood outside in the bright sunshine that she loved; the birds singing caused her ears to perk up for a moment……a familiar sound to a kitty who spent most of her life outside…her nose took in the fresh air and she slowly closed her eyes as she drifted away.
It was hard to say goodbye.
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
