Friday, March 25, 2005
SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER....1989
We began September by driving to Shawnee to visit George. He had traded for a new Pontiac Grand Prix…sun roof, luggage rack with all the bells and whistles. He was deservedly proud of it and we couldn’t blame him. It was a beauty. He also bought a new couch which made into a bed. I guess we were the first ones to try it out and we slept like babes in a crib.
The next morning my good friend Rosalie. who used to live across the street from us, came to visit. We had a lengthy gab session, catching up on the news with each other. Little Jan, Rosalie’s daughter, now married and with her first baby, stopped by to drop him off so she could go to work. It was unbelievable to see Jan all grown up and now a mother herself. Time has a way of putting the brakes on in our minds until we fast forward to catch up with reality.
The next day I met other friends, Evelyn and Helen, for lunch and that evening we were invited to dinner at Evelyn’s. After a nice evening we met George back at his home….he had been to a pool party, so we exchanged details of our evenings and called it a day. The next morning the three of us had breakfast at a place George usually ate Sunday breakfast and it was excellent. After a leisurely meal we said our goodbyes and headed home.
Monday was Labor Day so we had Jennifer and Becky over for breakfast and then I went to see mom. She had fallen while we were gone and was black and blue all over. I got some Deep Heat and rubbed her sore places until she said she felt better. Mom had fallen quite a few times in the past few years and some of them were serious falls, still we were fortunate she never broke a bone.
I called Louis because he was going to the hospital the next day for tests on his lungs and the growth on his esophagus. I took another vacation day and made two batches of jalapeno jelly and 2-pints of dill pickles. I enjoyed canning because I didn’t get to do much of it anymore. I went out to see mom while Bear drove a neighbor, Francis Adams, to a follow-up appointment on his lung surgery. He recently had one lung removed that was cancerous. Mom was doing much better so we walked down to the dining room and had coffee together. The dining area was a good place to relax and enjoy other visitors and guests.
Mid month while mom was here I called Louis so she could talk with him. Of course we were worried about his condition. Gail told us he had had a bad day and was asleep on the divan. He had been given morphine and she was very worried….mom got to talk with her a while and then I took her back to WC…promising to let her know when I got any news about Louis. We didn’t wait long. The next day Gail called to say Louis had been taken to the hospital for emergency surgery. Ulcers had perforated his stomach and he had quite a painful time before getting to the hospital. He appeared to be doing all right after surgery. Mom took the news with some concern but thought everything would be all right now.
However, the news was not good from Seattle. Louis was still in ICU under heavy sedation for comfort…..I was afraid of news that would come next. I knew when one has cancer and they are opened up, the cancer spreads everywhere. Our only hope would be radiation and/or chemotherapy.
We were in constant touch with his progress. Some days were hopeful while others left us exceedingly depressed. I couldn’t get my mind to accept the fact he might not pull through. His 61st birthday was spent in ICU with him hanging on to life. Mid-month we drove down to Louisiana to visit John, Barb and LJ again. We had several days to enjoy them and though I continued to keep in touch with Gail, the stress wasn’t as great in New Orleans. It is impossible to be there and carry your burdens with you…..
Once home again, we had visitors….Bear’s cousins from Nebraska came and my pal Rosalie and her husband, Gene, came for a few days. They were celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary and were taking some time off to visit and travel. Although it was wonderful to see everyone, I just couldn’t relax and enjoy them like I would have, normally. Louis was in serious trouble. He would not be able to get off the respirator and he was still in ICU. The realization set in that now it was just a matter of how long his body would resist the urge to let go…..he was in my mind and heart constantly, although I had to keep up a good “front” for mom and her questions/concerns.
I was worried about Louis but also knew mom would be inconsolable when he passed away. There was no hope left that he would ever leave the hospital alive. They kept him as comfortable as they could and of course, was heavily sedated. The tick of the clock was counting down the minutes for a future loss that I didn’t want to face. There is just no replacement for a big brother who has always been there. I thought back to my last conversation with him the day he was later taken to the hospital……his rich voice, his humor and his love came through loud and clear. It is something I will always cherish………..
Until Monday,
Essentially Esther
The next morning my good friend Rosalie. who used to live across the street from us, came to visit. We had a lengthy gab session, catching up on the news with each other. Little Jan, Rosalie’s daughter, now married and with her first baby, stopped by to drop him off so she could go to work. It was unbelievable to see Jan all grown up and now a mother herself. Time has a way of putting the brakes on in our minds until we fast forward to catch up with reality.
The next day I met other friends, Evelyn and Helen, for lunch and that evening we were invited to dinner at Evelyn’s. After a nice evening we met George back at his home….he had been to a pool party, so we exchanged details of our evenings and called it a day. The next morning the three of us had breakfast at a place George usually ate Sunday breakfast and it was excellent. After a leisurely meal we said our goodbyes and headed home.
Monday was Labor Day so we had Jennifer and Becky over for breakfast and then I went to see mom. She had fallen while we were gone and was black and blue all over. I got some Deep Heat and rubbed her sore places until she said she felt better. Mom had fallen quite a few times in the past few years and some of them were serious falls, still we were fortunate she never broke a bone.
I called Louis because he was going to the hospital the next day for tests on his lungs and the growth on his esophagus. I took another vacation day and made two batches of jalapeno jelly and 2-pints of dill pickles. I enjoyed canning because I didn’t get to do much of it anymore. I went out to see mom while Bear drove a neighbor, Francis Adams, to a follow-up appointment on his lung surgery. He recently had one lung removed that was cancerous. Mom was doing much better so we walked down to the dining room and had coffee together. The dining area was a good place to relax and enjoy other visitors and guests.
Mid month while mom was here I called Louis so she could talk with him. Of course we were worried about his condition. Gail told us he had had a bad day and was asleep on the divan. He had been given morphine and she was very worried….mom got to talk with her a while and then I took her back to WC…promising to let her know when I got any news about Louis. We didn’t wait long. The next day Gail called to say Louis had been taken to the hospital for emergency surgery. Ulcers had perforated his stomach and he had quite a painful time before getting to the hospital. He appeared to be doing all right after surgery. Mom took the news with some concern but thought everything would be all right now.
However, the news was not good from Seattle. Louis was still in ICU under heavy sedation for comfort…..I was afraid of news that would come next. I knew when one has cancer and they are opened up, the cancer spreads everywhere. Our only hope would be radiation and/or chemotherapy.
We were in constant touch with his progress. Some days were hopeful while others left us exceedingly depressed. I couldn’t get my mind to accept the fact he might not pull through. His 61st birthday was spent in ICU with him hanging on to life. Mid-month we drove down to Louisiana to visit John, Barb and LJ again. We had several days to enjoy them and though I continued to keep in touch with Gail, the stress wasn’t as great in New Orleans. It is impossible to be there and carry your burdens with you…..
Once home again, we had visitors….Bear’s cousins from Nebraska came and my pal Rosalie and her husband, Gene, came for a few days. They were celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary and were taking some time off to visit and travel. Although it was wonderful to see everyone, I just couldn’t relax and enjoy them like I would have, normally. Louis was in serious trouble. He would not be able to get off the respirator and he was still in ICU. The realization set in that now it was just a matter of how long his body would resist the urge to let go…..he was in my mind and heart constantly, although I had to keep up a good “front” for mom and her questions/concerns.
I was worried about Louis but also knew mom would be inconsolable when he passed away. There was no hope left that he would ever leave the hospital alive. They kept him as comfortable as they could and of course, was heavily sedated. The tick of the clock was counting down the minutes for a future loss that I didn’t want to face. There is just no replacement for a big brother who has always been there. I thought back to my last conversation with him the day he was later taken to the hospital……his rich voice, his humor and his love came through loud and clear. It is something I will always cherish………..
Until Monday,
Essentially Esther
