Tuesday, March 29, 2005
THE REST OF NOVEMBER....1989
The next day I went out to WC to bring mom for the day. I knew she would need to be with family and I fixed lunch for her and Becky. Mom had a nice nap in the afternoon and the rest helped her considerably. She was much more resigned but I would imagine her thoughts were mostly unspoken. Becky and I had a large program to plan for our women’s missions at church and I needed to study for my ladies Sunday School class.
I called our distant family members. I was able to reach George and John after trying since the day before. John was of course sorry about Louis and it was a real heartache over Jakie. He was his dog but he had to leave him here to finish college and then seminary. After he married Barbara they lived in apartments so Jake became our dog. Jake never forgot John, however, any more than John forgot Jake. Every time John came home over the years, Jake would try to get in the car when he left. It was hard to watch because they both wanted to be together but it just didn’t work out that way. They remain in each other’s hearts.
Work is sometimes a blessing. As the days passed and I was forced to fill my normal routine, I found some peace about Louis and Jake. I hate hearing people talk about “closure.” It’s like… “OK…it’s all over and now you won’t hurt anymore.” Not so. I think it started out as a “buzz” word for psychologists and the public picked up on it. There is no easy way to live on with a big hole in your heart. The cliché’s seem so empty and an easy out for a sympathizer to say something. Sometimes it is best to say nothing if you aren’t that close to the departed.
Gail and I talked each day. Louis designated that he wanted to be cremated and returned to Willow Springs for burial. That took some time and so we decided I should go ahead with funeral plans since she was so far away and wouldn’t know how to get everything done. I was actually honored to be given the task. Louis was baptized in our church, so was our mother. Dad’s funeral had been in our church, Becky’s wedding; Jennifer and Jonathan’s baptism. John and Becky were baptized; John was ordained as a minister there. John and Barbara’s wedding shower, also……..we had many family memories within our church. It seemed our major life events were within those confines.
I made the calls necessary for the service and wrote an obituary for Louis. On November 30th we drove to the airport in Springfield to pick Gail up. She brought Louis’ remains with her for burial. Her plane was on time so we took her to a quiet place for lunch and to visit. It had been a long flight. We did a lot of reminiscing as it would have been their 26th wedding anniversary. When we returned to Willow Springs, we went to see mom. Of course it was hard to greet Gail without Louis.
The funeral was to be the second of December so it gave us a little quiet time before relatives began to arrive and to finalize our plans. It was also Bear’s birthday so it gave us a little reason to forget the dead for a few hours to honor the living. It seems life sometimes stacks up with direct opposites like that…..and so November became the month that my dad and brother died, fifteen years apart. Their birthdays were the same month, in October. The strange thing was that my mother and I also had birthdays in the same month…..in May…..so it was always Louis and dad, mom and me. Sometimes things just work out that way………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
I called our distant family members. I was able to reach George and John after trying since the day before. John was of course sorry about Louis and it was a real heartache over Jakie. He was his dog but he had to leave him here to finish college and then seminary. After he married Barbara they lived in apartments so Jake became our dog. Jake never forgot John, however, any more than John forgot Jake. Every time John came home over the years, Jake would try to get in the car when he left. It was hard to watch because they both wanted to be together but it just didn’t work out that way. They remain in each other’s hearts.
Work is sometimes a blessing. As the days passed and I was forced to fill my normal routine, I found some peace about Louis and Jake. I hate hearing people talk about “closure.” It’s like… “OK…it’s all over and now you won’t hurt anymore.” Not so. I think it started out as a “buzz” word for psychologists and the public picked up on it. There is no easy way to live on with a big hole in your heart. The cliché’s seem so empty and an easy out for a sympathizer to say something. Sometimes it is best to say nothing if you aren’t that close to the departed.
Gail and I talked each day. Louis designated that he wanted to be cremated and returned to Willow Springs for burial. That took some time and so we decided I should go ahead with funeral plans since she was so far away and wouldn’t know how to get everything done. I was actually honored to be given the task. Louis was baptized in our church, so was our mother. Dad’s funeral had been in our church, Becky’s wedding; Jennifer and Jonathan’s baptism. John and Becky were baptized; John was ordained as a minister there. John and Barbara’s wedding shower, also……..we had many family memories within our church. It seemed our major life events were within those confines.
I made the calls necessary for the service and wrote an obituary for Louis. On November 30th we drove to the airport in Springfield to pick Gail up. She brought Louis’ remains with her for burial. Her plane was on time so we took her to a quiet place for lunch and to visit. It had been a long flight. We did a lot of reminiscing as it would have been their 26th wedding anniversary. When we returned to Willow Springs, we went to see mom. Of course it was hard to greet Gail without Louis.
The funeral was to be the second of December so it gave us a little quiet time before relatives began to arrive and to finalize our plans. It was also Bear’s birthday so it gave us a little reason to forget the dead for a few hours to honor the living. It seems life sometimes stacks up with direct opposites like that…..and so November became the month that my dad and brother died, fifteen years apart. Their birthdays were the same month, in October. The strange thing was that my mother and I also had birthdays in the same month…..in May…..so it was always Louis and dad, mom and me. Sometimes things just work out that way………
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
