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Essentially Esther Banner

Thursday, January 13, 2005

THE ALMOST JULY AND AUGUST STORY....1985 

July and August in Missouri are usually miserable months. The humidity rises to unbearable heights and most of us exist in the close company of air conditioners. Any outside work must be done early or late in the day and then you must fight the mosquitoes who are looking for a juicy bite for breakfast or bedtime snack. There just isn’t any way to enjoy July or August. For Driver’s Examiners….those were always the months we got the cars that came limping to town from out in the woods where ‘they’ lived. It was torture to ride in them.

You could spot them as you walked to the curb with your applicant…..the open windows were the first clue. The rusted fenders were an indication of gross neglect and the rain last night told you the seats were probably wet. The absolute worse “Mars car” (as I called them) offered me a good view of the pavement as my feet looked for a place to rest. The floor had a large hole on the passenger side and I made a note not to dangle my feet during the exercise.

As I worked to ignore the obvious displeasures of the vehicle I began feeling extremely hot. The fire wall was gone and so the heat from the engine was belching hot breath in my direction….need I tell you our uniforms were wool gabardine? Short sleeves, yes, but material like an oven. No matter the 16-year old had started the ignition with a screw driver, no matter that the emergency brake didn’t work, no matter the car looked like a flop house for seven people….I was literally burning up!! Short trip.

We rode in cars with torn pillows and feathers flying around in the vehicle leaving a wake behind us, cars that had been a birthing place for dogs or cats in the back seat and oh yes!! Snakes. Now I like rural people so this is not personal…..but many folks had the habit of leaving their cars parked in the yard among the old demolished washers and refrigerators and beer cans with the windows rolled down. It wasn’t their fault exactly….the windows quit responding to the cranking many moons ago.

This made an interesting haunt for any self-respecting snake that came along. He would be remiss to pass by without taking a look to see the interior…..and too often would get a free ride into town for a driving test in a car eaten up with “Ozark cancer.” Once Becky opened a door to get in and a copperhead fell out on the pavement. I was not overlooked. One time as I left the parking lot at our examining station a 6-foot black snake dropped down from under the car and I never knew it. A crowd gathered in the parking lot in my absence and as the applicant and I returned, they were all talking about the big snake. A co-worked grabbed it and hauled it to the back….he said… “to set it free.” His sly wink gave me the impression the snake would not be seen again.

Life was always interesting in my work and listening to the old stories the senior examiners told was a delightful incite to the past. Now the new generation doesn’t concern themselves with “the way it was” and the camaraderie experienced and lived in the past will be lost except to those of us who enjoy musing over it once in a while.

As I was saying before I took a hiatus from my original subject….July and August in southern Missouri is miserable. We took mom and drove to KC to visit George over the 4th of July and always have a good time there. It’s a chance to catch up with all of George’s activities and his home improvements. Many of my old friends live in the area so we made contact with them before coming home. George is an excellent chef and his specialty is with a grille on the deck so we always look forward to one of his king sized burgers with all the trimmings. His Westie….Mac dog…was always fun. Westies have unlimited energy and refuse to let you ignore them. He was great company for George.

Since I have drifted afar from my original intent, we shall continue tomorrow where we left off. It’s always fun to see where the mind will take me when I open the door and roll back the time-line. I’m always surprised where we end up….but I’ll tell you a secret….that’s the fun of being an old timer. It’s a magic carpet to instantly fly away to another time and place….see? Growing old isn’t so bad……..

Until then,
Essentially Esther