Friday, April 30, 2004
LEARNING TO BE A WIFE
I was feeling a pull between working and being home. I could always think of things I wanted to get done but not before time to be at work. A senior citizen lived across the street from us and she would appear several times a week grooming her yard of flowers and pretty bushes. I wondered how she could spend that amount of time messing around in her yard.
Our yard was rough and rocky because of our new house and not much done to an old corner of ground. There was a small single garage separate but close to the house…..it was only large enough for one car, nothing else. We didn’t have money to buy a lawn-mower so we borrowed George’s dad’s. Of course it was a push mower and mowing the weeds over a bumpy yard was not much fun. I was thinking that George could do something about it but didn’t realize the amount of work and money it would take……..therefore not much was done. I rallied long enough to sow some marigold seed along the sidewalk because mom told me they could take the heat and wouldn’t require much water. Sounded like a plan to me. That was my sum and total of yard work.
Along about mid-May I had to miss work because of the stomach flu. I was really sick. It started one morning when I opened the refrigerator door and smelled bacon. I ate some cantaloupe and felt a little better. An hour later I lost the cantaloupe. I was home the rest of the week and my mother-in-law came to see me. When she heard my complaints she had a knowing smile on her face and I heard, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re pregnant.” I passed it off with…..”No, I can’t be pregnant !!” I had just been married and had the “curse” three days after our wedding. I couldn’t be pregnant. However, she planted a seed that began to sprout.
After she left I immediately went to the phone and called Dr. Hogg. He had been a military doctor and was the one everyone went to with their health problems. I told him I had the flu and needed something to get me over it. He said he would need to examine me and I went through what I figured to be ridiculous for a flu examination. When he finished he said, “Well, you are in the first month of pregnancy.” I stared at him in disbelief. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I wanted to work and have fun going places……..all the things I had missed out on before. How could I be pregnant? It didn’t make sense.
I asked if he was sure and he said, “Very sure.” He prescribed something to ease the morning sickness I was experiencing and some kind of pre-natal pills to be sure the baby was getting the right nutrition. I went straight home and bawled my eyes out. I had never been in any situation before that I couldn’t get out of if I didn’t like it. Now I was faced with being pregnant and there was no way out…..I was scared silly.
The pills didn’t work to alleviate my morning sickness. Mornings ran into afternoons and afternoons ran into evenings. I was miserable. Along the way somewhere I began to think this was all George’s fault. If I hadn’t married him I wouldn’t be pregnant. Somehow having someone to blame made me feel better. Of course the news flashed all over town and friends began calling with remedies for my problem. Eat soda crackers before you get out of bed, cut a grapefruit in half, put a peppermint stick in the center of it and suck the juice out of the grapefruit. I tried everything any one suggested. I was so nauseated that George called Dr. Hogg and asked him to make a house call.
After a through going over, he called George in the room and told both of us I would lose the baby. I was at the time of pregnancy where the continued vomiting would cause a miscarriage. He was so matter-of-fact about it that it made me mad. I said nothing but it was at that moment I decided I would not lose the baby.
I called Verl and told him I couldn’t work anymore. He had surmised as much because I had to run to the back and vomit quite a few times while I was still trying to work. He wished me well and that was the end of my working. It was also the end of a paycheck we needed to pay for some of the furniture we bought and the new car. George let the car go back to the Ford dealer and we lost what we had paid on it. With that behind us we were afoot but now we could manage our furniture bill. We figured I could have $30 a month for groceries and that left us with nothing.
What started out to be a lot of fun was beginning to look like problems I had never imagined. They say when the going gets tough the tough get going. I decided that was exactly what I needed to do….brace up to what was ahead and forget whatever I had imagined my future to be. The first thing I had to do was save my baby…..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Our yard was rough and rocky because of our new house and not much done to an old corner of ground. There was a small single garage separate but close to the house…..it was only large enough for one car, nothing else. We didn’t have money to buy a lawn-mower so we borrowed George’s dad’s. Of course it was a push mower and mowing the weeds over a bumpy yard was not much fun. I was thinking that George could do something about it but didn’t realize the amount of work and money it would take……..therefore not much was done. I rallied long enough to sow some marigold seed along the sidewalk because mom told me they could take the heat and wouldn’t require much water. Sounded like a plan to me. That was my sum and total of yard work.
Along about mid-May I had to miss work because of the stomach flu. I was really sick. It started one morning when I opened the refrigerator door and smelled bacon. I ate some cantaloupe and felt a little better. An hour later I lost the cantaloupe. I was home the rest of the week and my mother-in-law came to see me. When she heard my complaints she had a knowing smile on her face and I heard, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re pregnant.” I passed it off with…..”No, I can’t be pregnant !!” I had just been married and had the “curse” three days after our wedding. I couldn’t be pregnant. However, she planted a seed that began to sprout.
After she left I immediately went to the phone and called Dr. Hogg. He had been a military doctor and was the one everyone went to with their health problems. I told him I had the flu and needed something to get me over it. He said he would need to examine me and I went through what I figured to be ridiculous for a flu examination. When he finished he said, “Well, you are in the first month of pregnancy.” I stared at him in disbelief. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I wanted to work and have fun going places……..all the things I had missed out on before. How could I be pregnant? It didn’t make sense.
I asked if he was sure and he said, “Very sure.” He prescribed something to ease the morning sickness I was experiencing and some kind of pre-natal pills to be sure the baby was getting the right nutrition. I went straight home and bawled my eyes out. I had never been in any situation before that I couldn’t get out of if I didn’t like it. Now I was faced with being pregnant and there was no way out…..I was scared silly.
The pills didn’t work to alleviate my morning sickness. Mornings ran into afternoons and afternoons ran into evenings. I was miserable. Along the way somewhere I began to think this was all George’s fault. If I hadn’t married him I wouldn’t be pregnant. Somehow having someone to blame made me feel better. Of course the news flashed all over town and friends began calling with remedies for my problem. Eat soda crackers before you get out of bed, cut a grapefruit in half, put a peppermint stick in the center of it and suck the juice out of the grapefruit. I tried everything any one suggested. I was so nauseated that George called Dr. Hogg and asked him to make a house call.
After a through going over, he called George in the room and told both of us I would lose the baby. I was at the time of pregnancy where the continued vomiting would cause a miscarriage. He was so matter-of-fact about it that it made me mad. I said nothing but it was at that moment I decided I would not lose the baby.
I called Verl and told him I couldn’t work anymore. He had surmised as much because I had to run to the back and vomit quite a few times while I was still trying to work. He wished me well and that was the end of my working. It was also the end of a paycheck we needed to pay for some of the furniture we bought and the new car. George let the car go back to the Ford dealer and we lost what we had paid on it. With that behind us we were afoot but now we could manage our furniture bill. We figured I could have $30 a month for groceries and that left us with nothing.
What started out to be a lot of fun was beginning to look like problems I had never imagined. They say when the going gets tough the tough get going. I decided that was exactly what I needed to do….brace up to what was ahead and forget whatever I had imagined my future to be. The first thing I had to do was save my baby…..
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
