Sunday, March 14, 2004
A QUICK TRIP BACK TO SEATTLE
After Louis flew home from aunt Mary’s funeral we received a call from Warren’s niece that his sister’s breast cancer had returned. Her birthday, in July, was to be a surprise party for her and they hoped we could come. She also invited their younger brother, Don and wife, Sally. Included were a few cousins from Nebraska.
Since they lived near Seattle it also gave us the opportunity to visit with Louis and Gail a day or so. We had a wonderful reunion of relatives at the birthday party and when it was over we arranged transportation to Renton. Louis and Gail were ready for us and we enjoyed a good visit as we sat at their bar overlooking Lake Washington.
We told them about the events of the last two days with Warren’s sister. They were empathetic and thoughtful in the conversation. We had a nice meal at suppertime and the next morning we had to catch an early plane out of Sea-Tac. Louis took us as Gail had to work.
The next time we saw Louis and Gail was on their 25th wedding anniversary when they came here and then planned going to Milwaukee to visit Gail’s family and their many friends. Mom was still with us so it was a happy occasion for us to be together. As we walked to the RV with them mom asked when we would see him again. He gave mom a gentle hug because she was very frail at the time and said, “Ohhh, I don’t know, mom. God alone knows that.”
We hugged each other and waved until they were out of sight. We didn’t know it then but it would be the last time we would see Louis. He had been battling what he thought was ulcers and had been taking aspirin by the bottle to kill the pain. Sometimes it would be better and sometimes, not. He continued doctoring himself until he was so bad he finally went for help. The diagnosis was unexpected and serious. He had lung cancer and would have to have surgery. There were no choices for his condition.
He called late the Saturday night after he had seen the doctor. We talked about old times with mom and dad and everything along the way. It was a phone call I will treasure always. I told him I would be praying for his recovery if he didn’t mind an old Baptist prayer…..he laughed because he always chided me about being so “religious.” It is true I probably was more so than him but he always had the most fun. His gregarious personality drew everyone in and he didn’t have an enemy in the world.
Before he was able to go for the surgery on Monday an ulcer in his stomach broke through and he was rushed to the hospital on Sunday. They performed emergency surgery on the ulcer which spread the cancer quickly. He never left ICU. He was admitted in the hospital on September 17th and was on a respirator from then on. He never spoke again.
Gail called the morning of November 10th to tell us he was gone. I don’t care how much a person expects a call like that it is always a shock and anguish beyond compare. Emotions run rampant and an instant sense of loss fills your body. Scenes of our childhood together flicked past my mind like shuffling a deck of cards and finally from inside a tidal wave of tears found release.
They say time takes care of everything but whoever said that did not lose a brother. I have well passed into the time frame where it should not hurt anymore but the pain persists. Memories are sweet but cut too short. I not only felt my own pain but I had to drive to the nursing home to tell our mother. Seeing her tears for the loss of her first-born was as painful for me. No mother at her old age should have to deal with her children dying…..
……..and still we know dying is a part of living and it is not an option. They say we begin dying the day we are born……and it’s true my brother’s years were shortened…….still he left family and friends knowing he was off on another grand adventure. This last one will have no end…….
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
Since they lived near Seattle it also gave us the opportunity to visit with Louis and Gail a day or so. We had a wonderful reunion of relatives at the birthday party and when it was over we arranged transportation to Renton. Louis and Gail were ready for us and we enjoyed a good visit as we sat at their bar overlooking Lake Washington.
We told them about the events of the last two days with Warren’s sister. They were empathetic and thoughtful in the conversation. We had a nice meal at suppertime and the next morning we had to catch an early plane out of Sea-Tac. Louis took us as Gail had to work.
The next time we saw Louis and Gail was on their 25th wedding anniversary when they came here and then planned going to Milwaukee to visit Gail’s family and their many friends. Mom was still with us so it was a happy occasion for us to be together. As we walked to the RV with them mom asked when we would see him again. He gave mom a gentle hug because she was very frail at the time and said, “Ohhh, I don’t know, mom. God alone knows that.”
We hugged each other and waved until they were out of sight. We didn’t know it then but it would be the last time we would see Louis. He had been battling what he thought was ulcers and had been taking aspirin by the bottle to kill the pain. Sometimes it would be better and sometimes, not. He continued doctoring himself until he was so bad he finally went for help. The diagnosis was unexpected and serious. He had lung cancer and would have to have surgery. There were no choices for his condition.
He called late the Saturday night after he had seen the doctor. We talked about old times with mom and dad and everything along the way. It was a phone call I will treasure always. I told him I would be praying for his recovery if he didn’t mind an old Baptist prayer…..he laughed because he always chided me about being so “religious.” It is true I probably was more so than him but he always had the most fun. His gregarious personality drew everyone in and he didn’t have an enemy in the world.
Before he was able to go for the surgery on Monday an ulcer in his stomach broke through and he was rushed to the hospital on Sunday. They performed emergency surgery on the ulcer which spread the cancer quickly. He never left ICU. He was admitted in the hospital on September 17th and was on a respirator from then on. He never spoke again.
Gail called the morning of November 10th to tell us he was gone. I don’t care how much a person expects a call like that it is always a shock and anguish beyond compare. Emotions run rampant and an instant sense of loss fills your body. Scenes of our childhood together flicked past my mind like shuffling a deck of cards and finally from inside a tidal wave of tears found release.
They say time takes care of everything but whoever said that did not lose a brother. I have well passed into the time frame where it should not hurt anymore but the pain persists. Memories are sweet but cut too short. I not only felt my own pain but I had to drive to the nursing home to tell our mother. Seeing her tears for the loss of her first-born was as painful for me. No mother at her old age should have to deal with her children dying…..
……..and still we know dying is a part of living and it is not an option. They say we begin dying the day we are born……and it’s true my brother’s years were shortened…….still he left family and friends knowing he was off on another grand adventure. This last one will have no end…….
Until tomorrow,
Essentially Esther
