Friday, February 13, 2004
MOM - JOURNEYS END
After the death of my dad I took full responsibility of my mother. At the time I had an older brother who lived in Seattle but he was too far away to help. I felt great empathy for mom because her grief was great and she was at an age where she needed help maintaining their home.
I mentioned before that she never had a washing machine. They had always gone to the launder mat to wash their clothes and mom didn’t drive. Rather than continue with that I began washing her clothes each week. I had been cutting and rolling her hair for a long time…then combing it out. I made most of her clothes because as short as she was it was easier to make them from scratch. It was like dressing a doll and fixing her up. I enjoyed doing that.
We helped mom with the maintenance and up-keep as dad had always done. It wasn’t any big deal and it took a lot of worry away from mom. We took her everywhere we went…..church, grocery store, visiting family, vacations…and all that. It was never a problem because she was pleasant and non-complaining.
In 1981 she went back to Blair to visit. One of her sisters and her husband were coming “home” where they all grew up. After grandma Stricklett passed away the property was left to aunt Mary and once a year the siblings would all get together for a family reunion. One night mom got up and became confused when she headed for the bathroom. She took a wrong turn and fell down the steep steps. Everyone in the house got up and came running but mom appeared to be all right. Amazingly she didn’t break anything and only had a few bruises to show for it.
Several days later mom was having some problems and she made a visit to the doctor. She had been having trouble with her speech so the doctor put her in the hospital for observation. During the night she got out of bed and collapsed on the floor unconscious. She wasn’t discovered for about 5-hours. She suffered a severe stroke and heart attack.
Aunt Mary called and we made plans to leave immediately for Blair. When we arrived at the hospital she was in ICU and didn’t know us. She was unable to respond to any family member or the doctor. Her life hung in the balance for several days. My husband and I were both working at the time so we could only stay a week-end with her.
From September until January we left home early on Friday mornings to arrive in Blair after a ten hour drive. I would go to the hospital afternoons and evenings and I would help aunt Mary in the mornings. On Monday mornings we would leave Blair and arrive home in order to work Tuesday - Thursday. We continued this until the last of January. The story had a happy ending at that time. Mom recovered most of her speech and dexterity and had been released to go back to aunt Mary’s. She continued therapy until the following May when we brought her home.
Mom stayed in her home and did quite well for several years. She was very good at following the doctor’s orders and her quiet nature helped her to heal. The day came when she had more and more complications and we had her in and out of the hospital to the point the doctor thought it would be beneficial for her to be in an assisted care facility.
She fought her physical handicaps relentlessly and for a time was able to enjoy her own apartment but eventually her health declined to the point she was wheel-chair bound. The cartilage in her knees was worn out and mom couldn’t stand surgery with her delicate health. Still, she made the best of it and didn’t complain.
At the last we were no longer able to bring her home to have dinner with us to visit in familiar surroundings. One Sunday morning we watched as she slowly slipped away from us. For days she had been gently calling to her “mama” and “papa” and reaching her arms as if to be picked up. Then she would look sadly as if they were walking away from her.
This last time she opened her eyes suddenly as if she saw something wonderful and a brief recognition………and then her little frame settled back on the bed. With a short little intake of breath it was as if her spirit were released and she flew away. It was so peaceful the ones of us who were there stood in wonder. Then realizing mom was gone we gave into the tears and grief of losing her………..mama went to heaven on Sunday………….
Tomorrow a brief tribute.
Until then,
Essentially Esther
I mentioned before that she never had a washing machine. They had always gone to the launder mat to wash their clothes and mom didn’t drive. Rather than continue with that I began washing her clothes each week. I had been cutting and rolling her hair for a long time…then combing it out. I made most of her clothes because as short as she was it was easier to make them from scratch. It was like dressing a doll and fixing her up. I enjoyed doing that.
We helped mom with the maintenance and up-keep as dad had always done. It wasn’t any big deal and it took a lot of worry away from mom. We took her everywhere we went…..church, grocery store, visiting family, vacations…and all that. It was never a problem because she was pleasant and non-complaining.
In 1981 she went back to Blair to visit. One of her sisters and her husband were coming “home” where they all grew up. After grandma Stricklett passed away the property was left to aunt Mary and once a year the siblings would all get together for a family reunion. One night mom got up and became confused when she headed for the bathroom. She took a wrong turn and fell down the steep steps. Everyone in the house got up and came running but mom appeared to be all right. Amazingly she didn’t break anything and only had a few bruises to show for it.
Several days later mom was having some problems and she made a visit to the doctor. She had been having trouble with her speech so the doctor put her in the hospital for observation. During the night she got out of bed and collapsed on the floor unconscious. She wasn’t discovered for about 5-hours. She suffered a severe stroke and heart attack.
Aunt Mary called and we made plans to leave immediately for Blair. When we arrived at the hospital she was in ICU and didn’t know us. She was unable to respond to any family member or the doctor. Her life hung in the balance for several days. My husband and I were both working at the time so we could only stay a week-end with her.
From September until January we left home early on Friday mornings to arrive in Blair after a ten hour drive. I would go to the hospital afternoons and evenings and I would help aunt Mary in the mornings. On Monday mornings we would leave Blair and arrive home in order to work Tuesday - Thursday. We continued this until the last of January. The story had a happy ending at that time. Mom recovered most of her speech and dexterity and had been released to go back to aunt Mary’s. She continued therapy until the following May when we brought her home.
Mom stayed in her home and did quite well for several years. She was very good at following the doctor’s orders and her quiet nature helped her to heal. The day came when she had more and more complications and we had her in and out of the hospital to the point the doctor thought it would be beneficial for her to be in an assisted care facility.
She fought her physical handicaps relentlessly and for a time was able to enjoy her own apartment but eventually her health declined to the point she was wheel-chair bound. The cartilage in her knees was worn out and mom couldn’t stand surgery with her delicate health. Still, she made the best of it and didn’t complain.
At the last we were no longer able to bring her home to have dinner with us to visit in familiar surroundings. One Sunday morning we watched as she slowly slipped away from us. For days she had been gently calling to her “mama” and “papa” and reaching her arms as if to be picked up. Then she would look sadly as if they were walking away from her.
This last time she opened her eyes suddenly as if she saw something wonderful and a brief recognition………and then her little frame settled back on the bed. With a short little intake of breath it was as if her spirit were released and she flew away. It was so peaceful the ones of us who were there stood in wonder. Then realizing mom was gone we gave into the tears and grief of losing her………..mama went to heaven on Sunday………….
Tomorrow a brief tribute.
Until then,
Essentially Esther
